I’m female. 20. Have loving parents. Two sisters. Student. Like chocolate milk.

These characteristics sound very common, don’t they? They remind me of the fact that I am human, that I exist. They remind me of the fact that maybe there’s a place for me in this world. To this very day I haven’t found it, but people keep telling me not to lose hope.
I struggle. Every day I’m struggling with life itself. I became a wrestling champion, but one without any cups or medals.

Today I decided to make my entrance on this site. I’m looking for inspiration. Maybe some of you can help me to unravel my $#%^ by giving an interesting view on my case. But I’m not only asking. I’m also prepared to give. It would be nice to be a helping hand here for some of you here.
I already mentioned 6 characteristics of mine. Let’s go on.

I’m diagnosed with OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. I was in therapy for some years. But because therapists usually focus on behaviour, nothing changed. Most of my OCD happens in my head and stays there. There were only a few compulsive acts in my behaviour. Those disappeared, but the thoughts stayed and it became even more difficult to control them. They drove me crazy. Today they still do.

Along with the cognitive behavioural therapy, I was also in a therapy created by Marsha Linehan. This therapy is specifically for people who suffer from personality disorders. Primarily I suffer from BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. It acts out in many ways. But also the avoidant personality disorder defines the way I exist.
Most of the times, my head is like a living hell. It keeps me from just living, from just being.

So…
Hi!

Hi! Nice to meet you!
My name is Plagues.