I called the doc this morning and he put in an order for my meds. It would have been my first time getting these. I got some samples to try for the last couple weeks, and everything was going well.

The pharmacy called and said my insurance wouldnt pay for them until they talked to my doc and he filled out some forms. It could take 7-10 days. Now Im stuck with no antipsychotics for at least a week.

If past experience holds true, it will take me around two months to be in a full blown psych emergency requiring hospitalization, so I should be safe.

I still cant help but be nervous. The last two episodes peaked with suicide attempts and I would hate to succeed on my third try. I just have to stay calm and not take on too much for a little while. Im scared, but I have to be strong. Theres no other choice.