Feeling a bit down today. Think someone spiked my drink whilst i was out and had some man following me home to my boyfriends. He looked after me because it made me pass out. Just started thinking I don't have a lot of people in my life that I would think would look after me too (bar parents). Really have a love/hate relationship with my friends and I feel i put people on a pedestal too much. My thought is that everyone should feel and act the same as me and I feel very let down when they don't give me the same care and thought I do to them. Maybe I'm just a selfless person? and other people just have selfish traits? I don't fall out with them, just feel like a lot of the time I suffer in silence without anyone knowing how i feel.

I find it hard because I don't feel that anyone understands my condition and how I'm feeling. Not knowing day to day, week to week, month to month how I'm going to feel and feeling suicidal or hurting myself for no apparent reason is really difficult to deal with. Feel that people are more concerned with their petty problems and just wish people would take the time to just ask the question 'How are you feeling today? Do you need some help?' Feel I concentrate on others too much and should start concentrating on myself and spending more time with my boyfriend.

I've had to leave college and feel that I have no career ambition anymore, really wish I could fast forward 50 years and be done with it.