The AIDS test is very scary to get. It doesn't matter what you've been doing, waiting for the results is frightening. So I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore, I get the roundabout AIDS test. I call my friend Brian, and I say, 'Hey Brian, do you know anyone who has AIDS? No? Cool, 'cause you know me.'
-Mitch Hedburg
When Zack first started freaking out about possibly contracting AIDS from our first GF, Kelsey, we all went through hell for a month. The convinent thing is that with our condition, we barley remember any of it. Seriously! We cannot remember a ######6 thing other than when we looked up the early symptoms of AIDS (During the beginning of ######6 flu season, mind you) on the Mayo Clinic website, we were listening to the last track that was all spoken word on that new Kanye West album. And we got up, and we went down the hallway, and the lights kept flashing by, because we were walking faster and faster because we were freaking out, but all we could think about was "Flashing lights, oh God, thats another symptom". We honestly thought we were dying for almost 8 months even though all the evidence pointed to the opposite being true: Other than a weight problem, we were perfectly healthy.
We have donated blood 3 or 4 times now. And each time, they do the most sensitive testing to make sure no donations with STD's get into the blood bank. And even though our GF actually donated to prove she was clean, we never heard word from the Red Cross. And that was a bad sign.
In reality, they only call when something has gone wrong. Them not calling was a good thing. But like after a first date, we had our phones on constantly, waiting for the call to come in. *RINGRING* "HELLO" "youhaveaids"**CLICK,HANGS UP** "NAHOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!". That was never going to ######6 happen.
Paranoia is a strong tool to utilize against anybody, but especially nervous people like Zack. He made us all think that we had AIDS and we were all dying, but when we looked at the facts:
1. All her BF's were virgins.
2. The odds of a virgin being such a dick to not mention having AIDS or even living to 17 years old is extremely unlikely.
We then realized we were dumbasses. She had already broken up with us via text and we (well, me really) masturbated myself into a stupor for the next 9 months hating on her for being a stupid ######6 @@@@@@@ whore. And, while that is true (You get that honor when you do 4 men at once without more than 2 knowing the other is in the loop), I can see why she did what she did.
But its getting worse: Nic's memory of her is fading fast. I did stupid $#%^ while I was pissed at her like unfriending her and deleting all messages and photos and what-not, not realizing that Nic needs to have certain things to remember anything. Thats why we don't like change: Because if something has changed, then the memory of that thing before it was changed is basically gone, unless its something REALLY memorable. But, otherwise... poof. ######6 gone.
So I need to find a way to let her know what is going on without pissing her off again. I could just tell her... but that doesn't seem to work well with, well, anyone.
Sigh. Better start planning.
-C.Nic