***Triggers- sexually related discussion***
Now that we've officially passed that heartbreak that has held C. back for the last year or so, I have to ask: What is with everyone's obsession with getting laid? Why do we use a bunch of excuses like "Its just our natural urges" or "I don't want to die a virgin" to explain away pain?
More importantly, why does heartbreak hurt so much? If the pain truly came from missing Kelsey, why did C. try so hard to have sex with her again? He kept saying he wanted to be her boyfriend, but the rest of us always knew deep down he was simply trying to nail her. The fact that he couldn't was what was killing him.
And now he has an obsession with plaid button up shirts. He doesn't wear them, per se, but he "Likes" them, thinks their fashionable. I know whats really going on here: All the guys who get laid constantly? They wear button up shirts. He is simply looking for sex, while I am looking for a relationship. And he triggers easily. And screws up good things with sex jokes or political talk. He's very insightful and very smart, but he needs to know when to shut up, and that by saying "Screw you for telling me to shut up, you idiot", while a good trait, doesn't help when trying to find a partner, even for a one night stand.
We figured something out this last year: I'm the funny one. He is pretty funny, but I am the really funny one here. He isn't jealous, he isn't spiteful, he accepts it. My question is why can he accept that, but not the fact that Kelsey is gone, and won't be coming back. He always says "But there are clues that she still loves us!". My response to that would be "So what? I leave clues that I hate milk by letting it go sour. Does that mean I enjoy terrible tasting curdled crap?" No! I would throw it out like Kelsey. I don't hate her, but I still do not have any idea why she did what she did. She is now dating someone 12 years older than herself, who was her previous boyfriend's roommate (and, to my understanding, still is).
I'm training myself to be an investigative reporter, because I believe that is the most important job in the world. So I have decided to look into solving this mystery without Kelsey knowing, her family, or anyone who would truly care. And the reason I am doing this in secret is because I know this will draw her out. With the evidence I may collect, I be able to coax an answer out of her. But only time will tell.
I will be updating my progress every three days. I want to make it clear, I am not stalking her. I might later down the road, but for the first 2 weeks of investigation, I need to simply look through the info I have available: Facebook profiles, messages sent via email, IM, chat, info from co-workers, etc. I'm going all out, just because I need to help C. move on from this... woman.
The reason I am posting all this publically is because this is INSANE, and I need to be talked out of it. But, since no one is, I've got nothing going on, and since no one wants to hire us (GEE, I WONDER WHY?!!), we have all the time life will allow.
Join in the fun, won't you?
-NicS