I don't know why, but lately I've been clamoring for a girlfriend. I really just want somebody to ###$, sure, but also someone who gets me and understands me. And someone who lets me be close to her as well, and let me lean against her and press my cheek against hers, like everyone else around here.
I'm still taking the Boston gig, but I think I've come to the realization that The only reason I miss Boise and want a girlfriend is because I know I'm truly leaving. And I won't be back for a year. Starting a relationship is stupid. And the feeling will probably pass once I move, but right now, its ######6 unbearable.
For years, I tried to convince myself I was lonely, because I never felt anything. Now I know it's just because I haven't found "The One" yet. I know I will.
But leaving Boise, even if just for a year, is creating tension in me. Not sexual, SUPER HORNY TEENAGER #######4, but, y'know... Hunger. Besides intellectual hunger, cause, y'know, Harvard and all, I truly feel like right now I've got to start a relationship (our first real one, since Kelsey was APPARENTLY just FWB, ######6 @@@@@@@) right now.
So I want to ######6 be with someone because I'm leaving. It's instinct at its finest, isn't it? Ah well. TK usually has the cure for that.
Off topic, but you ever read Immanuel Kant's Citique of Pure Reason? That's a ######6 hard book to read. It's like all the non tennis parts of Infinite Jest and all the non bomb parts of Gravity's Rainbow rolled into one boring slab.
-C.Nic