Our partner

C.'s Rants
Because LiveBlog has a character limit. I think. Haven't really checked in a while.
NicS
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 367
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 8:55 am
Blog: View Blog (122)
Archives
- November 2022
UPDATES!!
   Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:45 pm

+ January 2014
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ December 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
+ October 2011
+ September 2011
+ August 2011
+ July 2011
Search Blogs

Ageism/Ephebiphobia & ######6 Ford Drivers by C.Nic (Rant-ish)

Permanent Linkby NicS on Sat Jan 14, 2012 7:19 am

Ford drivers are, without a doubt, the best drivers in the world. They are almost ALWAYS older folks who drive with such precision... its just incredible. I honestly believe they are the best in the world.

So why is it that EVERY SINGLE ######6 FORD DRIVER IS A DICK?!

Heres the basics: We got our drivers license 2 weeks ago, and have covered 250+ miles driving around, doing courier jobs for our mom's office and driving to houses to clean for extra side cash. Its a great gig, and I ######6 LOVE IT. It makes me happy to wake up in the morning, to know I'm going to a ######6 gig that I love doing so ######6 much.

But the one thing I ######6 HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING IS ######6 FORD DRIVERS. They are the most horrible drivers out there, because they're dicks. Now when I say horrible driver, you either think of Asians (Don't ######6 deny it, we lived with one for a year. We know) or idiots texting, drinking out of big gulp containers, ######6 with the radio, combing their hair all while swerving like crazy into one lane or the other.

Well, Ford drivers aren't like that. They're all baby boomers, and those assholes are now middle-aged, at minimum. (I'll get to that asshole bit in a second). They have been driving for 40-something years now, and they know EVERYTHING. And some of them (and you can pick them out when your on the road) hate something major in their life, be it their spouse, kids, job, taxes, bills, you name it. And for whatever reason, driving normal, then suddenly jerking halfway into my lane and back into their own lane seems to make them happy.

Now, 2 weeks ago, I just thought it was old people with bad eye sight, and just let it go with the occasional "###$ YOU" shouted from 2 city blocks away, followed by my middle finger. Then, about 8 days ago, it happened 2x within 3 miles of each other, and I began to wonder "Is it me?" So, I stuck Nic's GoPro camera on the ######6 hood of the car and pointed it at the road, and when I looked at the ######6 footage later on, I was dead center in the middle of the lane, except for when I was turning around corners at major intersections or just ######6 changing lanes. I wasn't 100% perfect, but I wasn't endangering other drivers around me.

So for the last ######6 week or so, I've had to drive with these assholes on the road trying to piss me off. And I finally figured it ######6 out: Its ageism. They hate me because I'm a young driver, and they want to "Teach me a lesson" or some $#%^ like that. Its more specifically Ephebiphobia, but I can't ######6 pronounce that $#%^, so ###$ that, mommy.

Nic, David and Zack are the kindest and most mature ######6 people I know, and its because of their maturity that they are able to multitask so well and get all their $#%^ done fast and 100% accurate. Their main motivation comes from an old idea of mine, that everything we used to love has become mediocre, so now its our job to make it a quality product again. #######5 accounting ###$ up the economy and ruined millions, if not a billion, lives. We make sure every account is even, with petty cash on hand if there's extra to be given or taken. Were not excessive, we just do our job, and we ######6 do it well. We exceed in doing the best possible job, and were (except for David and Derrick) just ######6 18. Mostly ALLLLLL of my old High School classmates have no job, those who do say they hate it (Although I suspect otherwise...), the few like me who love it don't get paid much (but its okay, because we love it still), and at least a good 20 or so of them have gotten a DUI or some other charge. This dumbass wannabe gangster wigger ###$ named Ethan got arrested recently for stabbing a guy in the shoulder. No, seriously. (If I find the news article online, I promise I will post it). We have never done ANY DRUGS, EVER. None. Not a sip of alcohol or any pot, even though both runs in our family history. I only assaulted a teacher because he was mocking me in front of the class and he knew I would snap. Other than that #######5 day, though, NOTHING.

Now how do I convey that huge-ass paragraph to someone over 55 years old, who assumes they know everything because they're old and a "BLUE COLLAR WORKER!!!"? Simple: Drive the best we can. If were driving as perfectly as we can, matching the speed limit perfectly, driving inside the lanes and making eye contact with dumbasses going nuts on the road and trying to piss us off with a "I'm dissappointed in you" look, they will get the message. The older generation seems to understand non-verbal $#%^ clearly and quickly; my generation does need to be told "Please stop". And thats perfectly fine! People change with time!

In the 50s, Lysol used to be a feminine hygine product. Some of them probably remember the ads claiming it worked because it was"doctor recommended". That $#%^ would not fly today, because we are smarter than the fogies. Every generation gets smarter than the last, because we always think the last one ###$ everything up, so we try to fix what "They" broke. WWII era guys made everything, the baby boomers foreclosed and destroyed it all, and were here to stop being mediocre bastards and make America great again. And we start with the dumbasses being agesists and drive safely, because then were telling them to ###$ off! If your driving perfectly fine, and some idiot tries to swerve into you just to rile you up, you just keep driving like you were, because attention fuels the idiots. Make them guilty. If you can pull it off, look sad and make eye contact. But eventually they will get it that they ######6 suck, and you will have improved that #####& ######6 life!

So, yeah. I ######6 hate Ford drivers.

-C.Nic

57 Felix 55 Alexis 46 Aaron 42 David
33 Rick 27 Riley 25 Peter Isaac
21 Nic C. Nic TK Zack JR2 Brian Charlie Steve Tyler
14 Daniel 13 AlexBrandon
12 Michael 11 Ellen
9 Alice Andy Micah Nathan
8 Jason Dwyer Cheyanne Timothy
7 Rebecca Eric
6 Dakota Lukas Ivan Luna
5 Gary Mathew April Martin
4 Ryan Anthony Zenith Danielle June Bobby
3 Derrick Sam Paul Larry Shawn Emily May
2 Ethan James William Christina Colby
1 Noah
? Eli Kevin Joshua Andrew Carl Jay Blake Meghan Tiffany Scott Skyler + others
0 Comments Viewed 18197 times

Who is online

Registered users: ArbreMonde, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Julifee, Julihvh, Julipga, Julippn, Julirra, Juliulz, Majestic-12 [Bot], Snaga, Vikilvv, Vikiwao, xiximmxi