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My bpd ex hates me. Why do I miss him so much? by JustBreathe70 on Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:42 pm
My ex bf and I had been together for a year. This is fresh so bare with me. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love him. He was incredible and I felt on top of the world. No doubt in my mind he was my future husband. Nobody treated me as amazing as he did. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Then his first episode. He broke up with me because of a guy I slept with BEFORE we started dating and that I was still in contact with him. This guy was my best friend. Yes we fooled around once or twice but he then became just a really good friend. My best friend. Well my boyfriend wasn't happy we were still in contact so I dropped my friend. Just abandoned him because I didn't want anything jeopardizing my relationship with my bf. Our relationship got worse and worse over time. We've broken up dozens of times but I always took him back. He would never blame his BPD, but I would. He was always very remorseful and he hated himself for hurting me with words and actions that demolished my heart every time.

Well near the end, he had to go away for a job ( I trust this man 110%. No doubt or worries in my gut that he would be unfaithful), he began to question our relationship and saying it's not what he wants. He doesn't feel the passion anymore. I personally have never had sex with someone as much as I did with him. He was addicted. But we had tons of passion. He started questioning his love for me. I was DEVASTATED! My world collapsed. My daughter and I let him into our lives! He then came home and we celebrated our 1 year. He seemed distant. Then he went back to work and left me again. I knew something was up so I pretended like I went to a movie with a guy and be flipped. He confessed about another girl he's been hanging out with. Saying they haven't done anything but they talk and she sends pictures to him.

My heart and my soul sunk. I couldn't breathe. I stayed in my bed till 3 o'clock the next day. I screamed and cried. I couldn't believe it. I put so much effort into making sure he was happy. I wasn't perfect by any means!! I made my mistakes but I NEVER cheated on him. Not even close.

So now I sit here, still in bed. I'm completely shattered. For some stupid reason the only thing that makes me feel better is when I see his name calling me on my phone. Why? Why? Why? If he felt remorse I would honestly get back with him and I HATE myself for it. He blames me for why he left me for another girl. I just want him back. I know that sounds disgusting but I can't help it. Please give me hope!

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Closed doors by ringkichard0811 on Fri May 26, 2017 1:36 pm
From 6:30 AM Monday to 7 PM last night, we had been awake. The more fatigued I became, the further inward I traveled. I saw the deception presented to us as reality yield to our sickened, twisted mind...

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I've Been On HRT For A Week Now by AnnMarie on Fri May 26, 2017 9:05 am
I'm a little blue today. The reason is a little too private to talk about here. I was a little surprised at the way it affected me, though; I wonder if it's the estrogen kicking in. I've noticed some other...

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Friendship : DO or DONT by Weirdprincess on Thu May 25, 2017 7:16 pm
Hello guys. I am 17years old and this is actually my first time joining a blog and try to express myself through writing. During the last week i have been collecting questions in my mind and i can't function...

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-SELF HELP-- SELF HELP--- SELP HELP---- by KINDNESSTHERAPY on Thu May 25, 2017 5:54 pm
The following is my opinion only, it is based on my observations etc. over many years.... I am not a mental health professional (Thank God)....

If -YOU- have been involved with the mental health industry...

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My Binge Eating Recovery Journal by justholdon on Thu May 25, 2017 3:48 pm
Hi everyone,

I am new to this site, but so excited to recover.

Here are 5 facts about myself:

1. I am 21 years old
2. I am a third year at an Ivy League college
3. I gained 30 pounds in a year. I now...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 87 times
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Re: I've Been On HRT For A Week Now by Snaga on Fri May 26, 2017 4:48 pm
After seeing many stories about struggles and setbacks, internal angst and equivocation, the decisiveness and speed of all this is dizzying, but very good to see! Hugs.

Re: Feeling sick by KSalem on Wed May 24, 2017 10:28 am
Did you know that Tempo is a stomach medicine? :)

Take a day off... Relax... Feel better soon.

Kel x

Re: Rest in peace: Toby the cat by Snaga on Tue May 23, 2017 5:31 am
My condolences

Re: Was it really rape? by Snaga on Mon May 22, 2017 1:39 pm
Consider posting this is Sexual Abuse forum....

And, yes.

Re: Different Opinions. by sabotage3 on Sat May 20, 2017 2:16 am
In my experiences with psychiatrists and now my latest "doctor" that i just ditched - they make up whatever the hell they want to.


I am assuming its all about both the money and to cover each...

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