Death happens. I've seen my share. The mom in law died if front of us a couple weeks back. Stage four brain and lung. The family of course was devastated. Trying mourn but now the father in law is in front of me as I type close to death. His heart is damaged and has pneumonia. Mass on his lung. He is a tough dude tho I will give him that. Pain is probably excruciating. He is taking it like a man. But he won't hold on it looks. No strength. The family is shell shocked. Life has a way of throwing a curve at you and for my in laws this one is pretty tough to swallow. Losing both their parents over a short time takes a toll.
They feel terrible it seems they have no emotion left. Just hollow flat effect like me. So can or do emotions run out if used up for a long period of time? That is an interesting question isn't it?
I marvel at the technology tho that keeps people alive. Life support systems to give people a chance to keep living. I'm not sure I would want it tho, especially in a futile exercise like this. I don't want my children to have to choose when or why to pull the proverbial plug. I think I will mention I don't want artificial life support unless it is 50/50 chances you know. Otherwise just let me go.
I've had to cancel my classes for fundamentals of fighting twice now and every time I get words and messages of comfort. They really seem to be sincere and think I'm hurting or something. Sometimes reading them I get uncomfortable because I don't know how to respond. I usually just say thx and that's it. I wish my in laws would get some comfort. It seems silly to me I have a better support group then they when I'm not the one who needs it. I don't really need the love right now but they do. They would appreciate the words of comfort far more than me. That is the sad irony of things and paradoxical truths that sometimes makes me pray and ask God uh what is this all about? I appreciate the love for me God but can you direct some towards them who need it more than I? He usually listens and I thank God for that.
I've seen plenty of people die. Some fight, others don't. People cry and mourn, some are thankful the suffering ends. People have different ways of viewing it and dealing with it. Some don't know what to do with it. For me personally when I see someone die and like every time it happens I always think the same thing. I'm alive. I'm living. It only happens once and we never know for how long. I'm alive.