RR 100% but there was a moment during the day when it was as low as 10%.
There was a moment in the afternoon when I suddenly felt really tempted to act out. I read recently that sex addiction is the hardest addiction to beat because you are always walking around with a fix in your head.
I need more accountability in my life. I need to find somewhere for this blog where I feel like I will be letting people down if I don't update it. That way I will always have to face the music 1 way or another when I act out. Failing all that I have in my back pocket the option to go to 12 step meetings in person and get a sponsor and recovery friends who I will have to face in person after each time I act out - and will have to either lie or admit what I've done (the prospect of either will not be appealing). I will continue posting this blog here but I really want it to be the case that I can't hide from my own acting out.
Thankfully I have made it through the day sober though so have to pat myself on the back for that.
Also did some good thinking today - Spending the money exotic masseuses would cost on treating family members and friends instead would be much more enjoyable, make me feel better, happier and feel less discord at work if I spent the money taking colleague friends out to lunch etc.! This is just an illustration of how much a waste of money it is acting out.