Wednesday 28 December
18 days sober
RR 100% (lowish mood though)
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen
...........
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord grant that I may seek to comfort, rather than to be comforted.
Seek to understand, rather than to be understood.
Seek to love, rather than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
.......
Well there was a really tough couple of hours yesterday where I'm not sure if my resolve rating was down but I could feel my ego trying to question the 12 step program a bit. I think my mood has been a bit low over the Xmas period - where I live there have been family staying and it's made home life a bit more intense I guess. So yeah, I'd still say my resolve to stay sober is at 100% but I can feel some low mood and negative thoughts creeping in so I need to take positive action against that. Plan for today is to get stuck in to my to to list (getting the most essential things done) and make a 12 step meeting primarily. Then beyond that do some outreach calls as the next priority. Then do some stepwork. And I think also try to do something nice or treat myself to try to get my mood up a bit. I also had a fairly high anxiety OCD fixation crop up last night and I'm really hopeful my 12 step program can help with OCD as well.