RR 100%
Feeling a bit de-energised and low today. Main thing is to not act out though which I haven't done and don't plan to!
I said I was going to keep a note of my OCD fixations as they are part of the discord that causes me to act out. Well at the moment my OCD fixation is that I recently spend too much money on some DVDs/movies. It doesn't make sense because I enjoyed watching them - but there you go. Certainly a better way to spend money compared to acting out.
As part of my recovery work today I am going to read some posts on forums with people who are trying to recover from sexual addiction, and watch some youtube videos on the topic.
I watched some really good material yesterday which said that the sex addict's life is like being in a motoboat with a hole in the bottom. If the boat is still the water starts filling up the boat which is a good image for all the chaos that can enter a sex addict's life if the addiction is not controlled. However, recovery work is the motor. You have to keep the motor on, keep the boat driving forward and whilst that is happening, and the boat is gliding across the water's surface, water will not come up through the hole. In fact, the water already in the boat will start to empty out. However, if you switch the motor off and the boat stops moving - you are back to the same problem.
Basically what this means is you can take a day off work. You can take a day off from a diet. You CANNOT take a day off from recovery. Anything less than 100% commitment. Anything less than doing 20 minutes of recovery work everyday without fail means that a relapse is on the way.