Thursday 29 December
19 days sober
RR 99%
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
It's been a long 19 days sober, and I mean that in a good way, because it feels like a "Longer" time than that I think because of how I've grown spiritually over the last 19 days. With that said, this morning I feel like my resolve to stay sober is down a small fraction. We're only talking down to 99% kind of thing here but yeah, for the last 19 days I have been in complete withdrawal. Which means I haven't engaged in any sexual activity at all. When I look back over my life, which includes watching pornography as a teenager as the internet was becoming more mainstream then, I can expect to have some discomfort during this withdrawal period due to the deep-set thought patterns that have been built up over 15-20 years. Still, as I said before any kind of dip in resolve rating I need to be acutely aware of and get it back to 100% asap by going to meetings, doing outreach calls, working the steps and doing some nice enjoyable things, treating myself, doing something nice for someone else etc.