Haven't been here lately.... too sick or absorbed w newest computer project.
Also haven't been bothered by any of my previous abuse triggers or nightmares. Sometimes I find it best to come here while I'm triggered and thinking about the abuses I had as a child. This site may be wonderful and helpful but I see why so much is labeled "trigger".
Im here today because I realized just what a doormat I am. Few days ago, after askin hubby a question about his possible video gaming addiction (yes he plays every minute he dont work and calls in sick just to play).... next thing I know he waas screamin and spittin in my face while shoving me everywhere.
He kept tryin to drag me in front of video game to show me whatever it was. If I didnt comply, he grabbed, pushed, and shoved me everywhere not allowin me to leave the room.
Repeat demands on my part for him to stop finally got a question of "what r u gonna do about it". Right then and there I realized nothing and told him so. After that incident, he babyed me so much I finally just let it go. Any discussion on either side only led to more aguements so we agreed to drop it.
Why do I tolerate such things? Pls don't bother with telling me to leave and all the other typical statements given in such a situation. Im in absoutely NO position to leave and simply want to deal w it and learn about it.
I know it's probably a behavior I learned from my chidlhood abuse so I guess its a good site to ask this from maybe other adult surivivers like me.
"God will Give me nothing i cannot handle--i just wish he didn't trust me so much" - found this quote somewhere online and love it. Maybe add to my siggy here. xox
Honey