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Hallusinating
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The stingy brownie version

Permanent Linkby Hallusinating on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:58 pm

I was just a teenager when i learned how to make the greatest brownies.

I was at my friends house when she all of the sudden in our very grey and dull moment said "hey do you want to bake a brownie with me?"
I said "yeah but don`t we have to ask your mother first?"
We were about 13 and her mother hadn`t come home from work yet, so i doubted we were allowed to make brownies before dinner. In my house that would be stretching it far..first i would have to call my mother at work to ask for her permission and even then it wasn`t sure that i would get it. Maybe she would say something like "but we haven`t had dinner yet", "save some for your siblings" hmm..having 2 little chocolate craving sisters in the house would mean about a crumb and a half for me..
Or maybe my mum would just call it off as a bad idea and say that i could ask her again in the weekend? "Maybe we can do it in the weekend instead? I don`t think we have the ingredients"... Oh but muuuuum, i can buy them and i so want to have that brownie now. "Well you can look in the cup and see i remembered to put some money in it" We used to have a cup where she sometimes (once a year) would lay small change so we could buy milk or bread. If that was empty (which it usually was) it meant i had no money for the ingredients and so i couldn`t bake the cake :cry:


That was not the case for my best friend, she got double the amount of pocket money a week, even thou she had barely a single chore in the house. And her cupboards were filled with more sweets then ours.

She took me into their kitchen and started to find all the ingredients.

I asked her again if she was sure that it was ok with her mother, the idea of just going into the kitchen and baking without any consent was almost a bit strange for me to imagine.

My stepfather made me ask for permission to make a sandwich, so a cake i probably needed a written consent for?

We baked the cake with a lot of chatter and bowl licking, then after it was fried her mother came home.

She was cheerful that we had baked a cake, she said it smelled so good in the whole flat and seemed happy on her daughters behalf.

We couldn`t just go and serve ourselves in my kitchen. My stepfather had a favourite slogan " DO YOU THINK THIS IS A HOTEL?"

To which i had no reply because replying him would be like sticking your head in a sharks mouth.

It actually got worse when my older sister moved in with us, now we were 6 people sharing one bread.

I remember calling my mother at work asking her if i could have a sandwich after school, and i had to argue for it. I told her that the bread tin was empty but that i had seen a whole bread in the freezer. In the end she just said " okay then".

When i was au-pair in France it was normal to give the children a snack after school, the same thing in England too.

My best friend used to grab something to eat when she came home from school. I asked her about it once, seeing as we had so different lifestyles, and she just shrugged her head and said "of course i am going to have something to eat now, its a long time to dinner".

My mother used to be worried that i wouldn`t have her gourmet fishwithbone or friedliver dinner when she got home from work.

She didn`t exactly make me child friendly food often.

I hated getting my mouth full of fish bones, it destroys the pleasure of eating when you have 1000 needles trying to pierce your mouth :twisted:


Once i was told to sit at the table until all my food was eaten up, i was picky as a child (like so many children are). I didn`t want to eat fish or meat, my favourites was tomato soup and pancake.

I saw a children`s program with a jumping pig and after that i refused to eat anything containing meat.

My stepfather told me that they made sausages of pigs in regard of that show, and that made me so sad, so i stopped eating it.

And seeing as i hated fish there weren`t that many things i enjoyed eating.

Most children are used to getting treats, i got treats too sometimes because i had so many siblings i had to share it with them. We usually got a bowl with a few pieces of chocolates or a bigger bowl with one big chocolate broken in pieces. Then my stepfather would sit and count the pieces of chocolate i took pertinaciously and make remarks about it when i wanted some more "BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY HAD 5 PIECES-DON`T BE SO GREEDY!"

The cupboards at home were filled with salt, sugar, tea (my stepfather was from England so we always had to have tea), corn flakes which was only meant for eating at breakfast.

In the fridge we might have had some good blue cheese for my mother, slices of ham and mayonnaise for my stepfather. There were certain food i knew i couldn`t have because i would get in trouble if they ran out. Even with so many mouths to feed my parents would still be surprised when we ran out of food.

It wasn`t that we couldn`t afford to buy any more, it was how my stepfather wanted it to be.

He bought my mother(and him) a bubble bath a fur coat, and an expensive hi-fi system. He also bought a microoven as one of the first people in my country to have one. My friends who came over always asked me what it was.

Some days they would have big shopping and we would eat more interesting and lush things. They would stalk up the fridge and freezer during the weekend and then expect it to be full for the rest of the week.

Oh yes he also bought an expensive crystal chandelier that he had hanging over his 12000$ italian lounging saloon.

So he had money to buy us the food we needed, he was just stingy.

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