My title is a bit satirical or some might say ironic?

I had a room when i was younger where the washing machine stood, so my mother could come unexpetedly to do her laundry whenever in the day, and seeing as i had no door (just a spiral staircase), this could feel a bit disturbing. Not to mention the fact that i was a teenager who needed some more privacy then a child.

I also had a shower cabinet down there.
Since the room was in the basement i had a lot of spiders there....

I HATE spiders!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Especially the ones who climb up threw the drain in the shower while i am showering

They were BIG, hairy, aggressive and black and they came into my room every day.

I kept hearing stories about spiders crawling into your mouth while you sleep, so i was naturally VERY scared of the bugs.

I kept on complaining about them to my mother without her ever doing anything constructive to get rid of them, so one day i had finally got enough of them i went to the cupboard and found an insect repelling spray. I felt so relieved when i found it and thought that i could finally do my homework without being bothered about spiders.
So i sprayed the whole basement with it, making sure that all the cracks in the wall was covered.

Later that evening my mother had to come down stairs to collect some laundry, she made a remark about the smell downstairs and meant that i had used too much of it.


The smell stayed in the room because it was a basement and because i had carpet on the floors.

A few days later i heard that my mother had miscarried, i was immediately blamed and hated for it.

I didn`t know that a spray like that could harm her, if i knew that i wouldn`t have used it.

When fact is spoken she came down stairs many hours after i had used the spray, there was a spiral staircase up to the kitchen and so the mist had an escape route up to the flat which is big, so i guess it would dilute itself?

Further more it was only the smell of the repellent that stayed in the room, sure perhaps some fumes but i would guess she needed an ever bigger dose to kill a foetus?
And then i can say that she assumed that was the reason without proof, she didn`t check it(with blood tests etc).

This might sound harsh but i am glad she miscarried now, let me explain before you go on a rampage of aha`s.

We did have a lot of family problems, she had already had 2 children with my stepfather and 3 with her ex(i was the last one in her first marriage).

I had never used that spray before and i was only about 12 years.

I don`t think they were planning on getting pregnant, they planned the first one but the second one was a mistake. I know that because i overheard a conversation etc.

I am not even sure if i knew that she was pregnant? They usually waited until the 3 month before they said something.

My mother hasn`t brought this topic up again, they had their 3 child many years after this happened.

Which makes me think again that, THAT one also was a mistake?

She already had 2 small children to look after, so i think my stepfather was too reluctant to say anything to my highly emotional mother, also i think she was looking for a way to get out of her job?


Still the matter made my stepfather really angry with me, and paranoid.