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Hallusinating
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In vanity be vain or gay

Permanent Linkby Hallusinating on Mon Oct 17, 2011 9:04 pm

I am trying to live a life after having a bad stepfather and a bad family situation in general, when i read that many children die of physical harm made by their parents.

I think that many people have problems with their families.
Its so unfair because so many grow up with good parents, it seems like a lack of good faith, or a poor(er)destiny.

Looking at history to try to piece the puzzle together is a waste of ones time.
For those who have strength to get away from bad family situations i strongly advice them to do so.

I had a stepfather who "chased" me both mentally and physically around in the house.
He was the most critical person i grew up with next to my mother.

I wish he hadn`t come into our lives because i saw the decline in others and myself so strongly coming up that i am in shock of my mothers weaknesses, for not stopping his daily bullying of me, my father and my siblings.

Its like he strives on having a conflict with her last family so he can feel important to her life!?

I hate family arguments or anything reminding me of them because i know that someone always claim to have more importance, and he or she will step over dead people to prove it.

I saw a documentary about the builders of the new buildings where the twin towers stood, one of the builders had come from Ireland because of a broken family.
He said something that has been following me for years: "when you fail its all on you".

I knew exactly what he meant as it is what i have felt like too for many years.

A broken family doesn`t always consist of illness and/or death it can be "dead" relationships where you can`t talk to each other anymore, resentment, poverty, bitterness. In fact it is all the problems that could occur in a broken relationship with a man and woman, except it contains a whole family with many children.

It is so important that parents learn their children about prevention in a early age, because many of the marriages that fail and are ugly, are the ones made in vanity of young age.

The ones who pick up their tab are their children, and i don`t think that is a good enough foundation for a long life where you have to encounter so many people.

My stepfather "follows" me inside my head to this day with all his negative and criticising remarks.
That parents hate their own children is not a lie.
Sometimes that happens to be the truth.
My mother couldn`t or wouldn`t control his anger and we were always put between them whenever they had a stand still in their relationship.

My stepfather has given me a low self esteem and many other negative feelings in my life.
My whole family has given many negative feelings.

This is not how i want to live my life.

Even if you do move away from them you don`t always get the peace you were seeking for. They follow you and accuse you for leaving them too!?

Its not as easy as having problems with an ex, its much harder.

I have read that mothers who have abusive husbands have to leave and change adresse, name and phone number.

This is to protect themselves.
How do you protect yourself from a bad stepfather if you are a child and your mother don`t bother doing anything, even if she knows it was bad of him?

The police can protect so many people but not children in poor or bad family situations.

In countries where food is lush and money gives, it is strange that we should have any problems.

Like as if money, clothes and food can solve everything.

Maybe it should be more focus on divorced children?
Perhaps the psychiatry should have more insight into children?

Even when its not so easy to spot, as it was in my situation because my stepfather would always act nice as soon as people were around him, then he would go back into being a careless $#%^, when they had left.

I think the damage he has left inside of me is worse then anything!
He used to say to my older sister when they were arguing that he would make sure no doctor would treat her!? (seeing as he is a doctor himself). My sister was in her teens when he said this and he was a grown up adult :o

He is threatening to all the children from my mothers first marriage if we as much as say anything negative then he will threaten us.
This gives us a status as being almost invisible and not of any importance to them.

If we didn`t like the way he was treating us-then we could just go fu** off!
That was his attitude the whole time when i was living at home.
My siblings and i had no value what so ever to him and he wasn`t afraid to tell us that.
Since my mother was afraid of him and loneliness she also just let him say things like that.

His attitude was always "up in your face" aggressive :twisted:
We didn`t have much to say, we could either punch him in the face or run.
He was short tempered because he was always so busy in his job or with his studies.
Why did my mother marry a man who clearly didn`t have any abilities as my stepfather?
And why did she stay with him?
All of the answers is about vanity.
Being confronted with such an anger as a child is not easy.
His mother is also of that angry type and aggressive type, so i know she gets it from her.

Many people like him for his treatment of them and this status gives him a good cover to hide himself behind when he knows he has made a mistake.
Like someone once pointed out to me, he said that its not everybody you can talk too.

He was being so right.
It is of course a bit different if that difficult person is someone on the phone or somebody in your family.
If its somebody in your family then you are forced to engage yourself in that person, and i think it is then that problems occur, when we are being forced to cope with them.

My stepfather is not to cope with! I think there are many people like him but not so many have this situation.

Some people are complicated and only get along with few people in their life, this is how my stepfather is. He only gets along with my mother and very few others.

People like that shouldn`t marry people who have 3 children!

Some people suit for a part, others don`t! I wish my mother could have known the difference.
It would have given me an easier time at home, instead of walking on eggshells i could have had a good time with my father and the rest of my family.

Instead of feeling he was stalking me in my mind i could feel protected.

When you break a persons spirit it can be difficult to mend it again.
There will always be some sort of a power inside my family situation, because its a family so i don`t get away.

In a way i am stuck in a terrible situation.
He wants me out but my mother wants me in, but then she doesn`t etc etc.
You get pulled around and messed with when you grow up like this.

Wish my mother didn`t have all those excuse to carry around and that she wasn`t so good protected by her newest family, but she is, and this gives me an even worse situation, because i can`t ever defend myself with out being criticised for that too!

I feel as if my mother has stuck me inside a labyrinth and then just told me to find the way out on myself, i never find the exit because all the roads are wrong. So i just give up.

Its like my stepfather (lets call him Purvis) will make war so much inside the family until we give up.

And then his children come up and ask about me, and so the case is up again.
Its a story with no real beginning and no fictional ending.

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