I just had my cup of coffee that didn`t taste anything else but coffee.

I miss the times when i didn`t know what deceit was for some reason it was easier to just pretend that everything was just the way they should be.

When i was young my stepfather was laying on the beach with his top off, he was lying on his stomach and i saw a mark on his back. It was tracks after a motorcycle that had driven over him and left an imprint on his whole back.

I remember that mark very well because when i asked him in curiosity what it was he was being allusive and secretly and so was my mother, she was acting like "no we don`t talk so much about that". And so i never got the story of how that mark got on his back, just that a motorcycle had run over him. Now that i am older i have started to speculate what that really was..
I know my stepfather came from a very rough neighbourhood and that he came from England where there are a lot of hooligans.
I also know that he was in a band and played rugby and that he lost some teeth doing that.

And i know he didn`t want to be in England any more and started to study abroad.

So i am wondering if those tracks on his back had something to do with him leaving his home country? I find it strange that he hasn`t kept contact with any of his friends from England.
I have met some of his relatives but never any friends from there. If someone was trying to kill him then i wonder if that has something with his punishment on me?

He once spanked me because i killed a hamster when i was 5 years old and i am wondering if that was symbolic with fear for him???

I also know that my stepfather is very provocative so its not impossible that he got himself up in trouble.