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Hallusinating
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Disgustingly talented

Permanent Linkby Hallusinating on Mon Nov 05, 2012 6:50 am

i think my mother was embarrassed of me because i couldn`t do that movement.
I had to perform in front of an audience for the first time in my life and i had practiced for hours in front of a mirror without managing that one movement. I was frustrated with myself because there was another movement i also couldn`t make, i had to reach down to the floor and touch my toes, and i couldn`t do it!

All the other children in my ballet lesson could do it just not me, so i complained about it to my mother and she said that it was because my legs were longer then my arms....(yeah i know hilarious, she also convinced me to eat meat by saying that it was made in a bank-cuz the meat was called "bank meat" which really meant pounded meat, so i would imagine them sitting behind the counter in the bank making meat). Kids say the funniest things but in this case my mother stroke gold in her mouth..

Anyway lets not stride away completely so..i was going to have a christmas show where we all were going to show what we had learned the last year. So we had a dance we all did at the same time.

All the parents were sitting up on a tribune, the crazy old lady sat by the piano playing her normally boring tunes, that we had to follow, and so it all started.

The first steps were easy i knew them all by heart, and then came "the bridge" as we called it and i stood there angry and frustrated trying several times to make that move while the other kids were moving along with the dance i walked around my self a couple of times hoping that i could make that move the other way-and OBOY did i look like the dumbest idiot on stage that day!

So first one parent giggles and after that the whole tribune starts to laugh.

At first i didn`t realize it was me they were laughing at, but then i saw my mother hiding her face in shame.


I felt really disappointed but i think my mother felt even worse-she had dragged my stepfather to this event and he is a real perfectionist who doesn`t wanna be made to laughter and who always expects the best of everything. He is an achiever and right now i am making fun of my mother in front of him.

There wasn`t a lot of talking in the car on the way home that day.

I felt embarrassed because my mother had bragged about me to my grandmother (mother of my stepfather) and they were all so interested in hearing how my ballet was going.

In some way the ballet was a show because it made them have something to talk about with my grandmother. My grandmother (mother of my stepfather whom i refer to as my grandmother in this thread), was still a recent person in my mothers life, my mother had been married before and had 3 children by the time she met my stepfather.

This didn`t sink in easy with my grandmother.

And so talking about my ballet when she visited them abroad was a (wait for the super irony here..) bridge...

or also a distraction?

As big hearted as my grandmother was she embraced me with open arms.

She did that with all of my mothers first children, i think it was for four reasons, one because they were a part of her now new and extended family, in were she had no children, two, because she wanted to give support to her son, three because she her self came from a large family with many children(she had 11 siblings), and four because she knew that we had nothing to do with the divorce.


A grandmother she was.

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