It is 5 am here. I should be asleep, but the things are back. The things I see. I kind of know they're not real, but not exactly. Its like I feel my heart pounding and I keep seeing the terrors moving at the corners of my vision. If I turn and focus on them they become more real and the absolute terror and paralyzing fear gets much worse. There is chest pain now too. With my luck I'd literally scare myself to death over something that people tell me isn't real. It so much worse when I'm alone, but these days even being with someone doesn't alleviate things nearly as much. I'm getting worse. And there is no help or hope in the forseeable future, not that its impossible but under current circumstances it will be very hard to find a source for relief from this shattering mental state I am in.