Hi; I'm brand new to this forum (in fact being a huge techno-phobe this is the first time I've ever been on any forum!) I guess I'm a (very) late starter to the body dysmorphia subject, but I've had major issues with my appearance ever since I was around 10years old (I'm now 44!).
I'm interested in the concept of BD if you ARE actually odd looking and/or have unnatractive features.
I've been ridiculed about my crappy hair since early childhood, and have had comments throughout my life relating to my "weird face". I spend around 2 - 3 hours (sometimes more) getting ready to go ANYWHERE - Whether it's to work or to the shop for a pint of milk... I stand in front of the mirror for all that time trying to make myself look acceptable to go out - and then I avoid mirrors LIKE THE PLAGUE for the rest of the day.
If I hear anyone laugh when I'm out I'm convinced it's how I look that they're finding funny; if anyone looks at me it's because my appearance is odd and they can't help but stare. Alternatively If I have a day that I don't get any looks from people and I don't hear #######3 then I can generally go about my business in a positive frame of mind....until the next day and then the cycle starts all over again.
It's made me pretty ill mentally at various times in my life... it hurts so much and a lot of the time I feel like a completely substandard human being. I've never spoken about it to anyone - this is the first time I've opened up about it. I just wish that I could accept the way I look and live a normal life - but Its the main focus for me every single day and to be honest i cant emphasise enough how its marred my existence for the last 34years.
Can anyone relate to this?