Just before my A-Level exams a few months ago, one of my teachers in English Literature gave us a piece of advice that we should, in her words, 'carry with us into our exams and beyond in life.'
Her advice was a simple maxim; "Say what you mean and mean what you say"
As someone with Aspergers, this simple statement rings true. I've lost count of the number of times that I misunderstood something a friend has said or latched a different interpretation to one of my teachers' observations and grasped the wrong meaning entirely. My occasional miss on social cues, unwillingness to ask for confirmation or seek advice on any confusion has, quite naturally, made things that little bit worse (although I am better at interpreting meaning now than before).
One small example I remember was a kids book which jokingly said that "During a lecture, students were required to hold their tongue." Taking its words literally and wondering how that was possible, my mum got a big surprise when she walked in my room and found me holding my tongue with some difficulty with two fingers and a thumb! (To her credit, she patiently explained this strange example and has continued this up to the present day, offering support for nearly two decades! )
It is only recently that I have come to realise that I am not alone in this. As the media too frequently shows, even non AS sufferers come under fire for misunderstood phrases because, as my teacher pointed out, people misunderstand others, sometimes deliberately, other times unknowingly and it can be hard for those with little understanding of AS to realise this. If a teacher had told me to 'hold your tongue' to which I literally did, they would instantly assume I was being insolent to which I would be unhappy because I felt I was obeying their instructions.
All of which is maddeningly frustrating to both sides, particularly since genuinely good support is not always easy to find.
I know I have been very fortunate in the terms of support I have received for twenty years that has gradually allowed me to grasp figurative language and abstract concepts. However I also know that, if I had stayed in the state system, I wouldn't be the person I am today, confident enough to write a blog to potentially hundreds of strangers.
And that's something I really do mean!