Your case is very complex and I would advise we refer you = I can't be bothered to assess you myself.

How are you feeling? = I don't really care

And does that thought make sense to you? = You are clearly mad as a hatter

What is your latest lithium level? = I cant be bothered to look it up myself

Don't worry, things won't get worse = Haha, yes they will

I think we should adjust x medication = I am doing it anyway and if you say no you are being uncooperative and/or lack insight

I think we should discuss this with the home treatment team = You are going to be admitted

When is your next CPA meeting? = You are annoying me and I want to see you sweat

How do you feel about that overdose? = Why did you take paracetamol you stupid person?



Just some that come to mind. I am def not anti psych but knowing what Drs think I can imagine this is some of what goes through their heads. Note this thought process is not exclusive to psychiatrists it is a general medical habit, I think born out of stress. But not so fun when you are on the other side of it. Tho I promise there are good, kind and nice Drs out there.

Cracked

PS Feel free to add!

Thanks for this! It's so true.

Hehehe you are welcome

Cracked

Its scary to think about coz i think most of the time this is exactly right. My doctor is lovely and i think??? (i like to think) that she does care, but the mental health team in my area are pretty crap..at least in my experience.

I concur! Excellent list, Cracked!!

Here's one that got pulled on me two years back after an accidental overdose:

Toxicologist: "Ok I'm clearing you to leave the hospital; the pdoc is going to evaluate you and then you are free to go"

Translation: "Hey, Dumba$$, you OD'd, so the pdoc is going to nod and smile to whatever you say and then tell you you're going to the psych hospital because you're a liability and for legal reasons we must commit you for 72 hours"

Lol

I have another

How do you feel about a voluntary admission? = If you say no then hahaha the butterfly nets and MHA assessors will be on their way...