I was so scared about seeing my therapist today after the text that I was awake at 2. She reassured me about it but I could not seem to get engaged and she picked up on it and commented on it and now I feel like I have failed somehow. Like I want to be a good client and I was not today.
It improved after we did a visualisation which I think explained why I was feeling so out of it to do with stuff that happened to me but then the session was over. She said I seemed a lot better after that.
I texted her to apologise but feel bad. It has messed with my head. She also said I seemed sad and distant.
Maybe I should go to sleep and forget about this for a while but that is not good. I think I am stuck in child mode. I am not sure. I just feel weird.
Sorry I thought blogging this would help but it is probably just a pile of waffle and I am still thinking about it - prob because I am censoring myself, never good.
Now the question is what can I do to distract myself? Perhaps go to the shops and hoover? Or the washing up. Or go to sleep. Hmmm.
Anyhow hope all are OK.
Thinking of you - I am going to do something useful and stop feeling sorry for myself.
Cracked