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CrackedGirl
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Spiders & Other Things

Permanent Linkby CrackedGirl on Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:08 pm

So here I was minding my own business in bed last night watching the news (what an exciting life I live) and the bloody massive spider scuttles across my bedroom floor, scuttles some more then sits there staring at me. Now I love animals but my love of animals does not extend to spiders or wasps so I put a bowl over it and have left it there. I know it is mean but I hate them so much. I know why - they trigger me to lying in the woods in Nigeria being abused. I hate them, I hate everything about them. Tom I am going to get the hoover and finally hoover my stairs and living room, and hoover up that nasty spider plus any others i find. No doubt I am coming back in another life as a dung beetle for this but I hate them - yuck, yuck, yuck.

I am also seeing my therapist tom which I am slightly nervous about as I will need to talk to her about what went on the other night, in detail and that is embarrassing. The reason I need to talk to her in detail about it is because of the triggers but I am so embarrassed to come out with the words. I am debating texting her the whole thing tonight so she knows it before I see her and that might make it easier, tho it may not as I will know she knows and be worried she is judging me. Aarrghh Cracked stop second guessing yourself!

So tom is a big day. Hoovering and therapy. Hoovering might not seem like a big deal but it is for me as I am really rubbish at ADLs. It will feel nice once it is done tho and I will feel a bit less scared of my house. As I type this I have my feet up on a chair in case a spider comes along.

I dont know whether to text her. No Cracked you need to be an adult. But I want to because it is easier. Oh I dont know. OK I will be a grown up and wait until tom and then talk to her.

Hope all are well.

Cracked

So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

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Re: Spiders & Other Things

Permanent Linkby CrackedGirl on Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:37 pm

I gave in and texted her - no reply yet, hopefully she wont reply til I am asleep.

Cracked
So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

When all else fails, hug the CAT



Obey The Moderator

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CrackedGirl
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Re: Spiders & Other Things

Permanent Linkby salted lipstick on Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:50 pm

What does ADL stand for?

Sorry you are stressed about the spider and about talking to your therapist about that stuff... Big hugs... I can really relate to not liking spiders, my father was extremely sadistic and used to put them on me intentionally, then he would say "don't more suddenly, they don't bite the ground they walk on". He was lovely sometimes (sarcasm).
In a way, I am not defined by my dissociation. In a way, I am.

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salted lipstick
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