So here I was minding my own business in bed last night watching the news (what an exciting life I live) and the bloody massive spider scuttles across my bedroom floor, scuttles some more then sits there staring at me. Now I love animals but my love of animals does not extend to spiders or wasps so I put a bowl over it and have left it there. I know it is mean but I hate them so much. I know why - they trigger me to lying in the woods in Nigeria being abused. I hate them, I hate everything about them. Tom I am going to get the hoover and finally hoover my stairs and living room, and hoover up that nasty spider plus any others i find. No doubt I am coming back in another life as a dung beetle for this but I hate them - yuck, yuck, yuck.
I am also seeing my therapist tom which I am slightly nervous about as I will need to talk to her about what went on the other night, in detail and that is embarrassing. The reason I need to talk to her in detail about it is because of the triggers but I am so embarrassed to come out with the words. I am debating texting her the whole thing tonight so she knows it before I see her and that might make it easier, tho it may not as I will know she knows and be worried she is judging me. Aarrghh Cracked stop second guessing yourself!
So tom is a big day. Hoovering and therapy. Hoovering might not seem like a big deal but it is for me as I am really rubbish at ADLs. It will feel nice once it is done tho and I will feel a bit less scared of my house. As I type this I have my feet up on a chair in case a spider comes along.
I dont know whether to text her. No Cracked you need to be an adult. But I want to because it is easier. Oh I dont know. OK I will be a grown up and wait until tom and then talk to her.
Hope all are well.
Cracked