Good stuff first. I have a gig in a bit which will be fun tho it is in a crap venue, but the fun will be the performance and seeing my friends. Also got a couple of interviews coming up about one of the music projects I am involved with - need to plan what to wear!
Did my group stuff today too, which was good as I was feeling really triggered and it helped.
I had a couple of triggers, one was a terrifying flashback dream not about the bad abuse in Africa but about someting that happened a couple of times when I was back in the UK. I have never felt it that bad - I am not even sure I have told my therapist but in the dream I could really feel how terified and confused I was and how much I wanted him to get off me.
The other thing that is on my mind for some reason is that in Africa the students at the college used to carve cuts into their faces as a cultural thing and they did it in front of me as they thought it was funny and thretened to cut my face - I was so scared.
So I woke up this am feeling very out of sorts. But a good friend has helped me out and I feel better now and looking forward to music.
Much to talk to therapist about...
Hope you are all OK
Mother, I can never come home again,2 Comments Viewed 85211 times
cos I seem to have left an important part of my brain somewhere,
somewhere in a field in Hampshire.
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Obey The Moderator
So sorry to hear you were feeling triggered. I hope you feel a little better now.
It sounds scary that they threatened to cut your face.
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Thank you - it was really scary. I sometimes wonder if it planted the cutting seed in my head.
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