I have been thinking about my hospital admission in Feb when I tried to commit suicide. It is on my mind atm. I (obviously) failed but I meant it. I was on one to one obs for over a week which was awful as I had to shower in front of ppl and use the toilet in front of ppl, I was so ashamed I did not open my bowels the whole time - not that I was eating much. It was for safety tho as everywhere I looked I saw opportunities for suicide, my mind had come to a standstill except ways to commit suicide. I was so upset I had failed. I moved hospital and had to deal with the evil consultant from hell who was horrible. But for some reason yesterday when I was having a really bad day I really wanted to be on 1 to 1 obs as I wanted someone to look out for me when I was feeling wobbly, and there was no one there and I wished there was. Just sad that I thought the place to get that looking after from was from hospital obs.
Hope you are all OK
Mother, I can never come home again,6 Comments Viewed 71368 times
cos I seem to have left an important part of my brain somewhere,
somewhere in a field in Hampshire.
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Hugs to you Cracked. I know how scary being at the lowest point is.
"Courage isn't having the strength to go on- it is going on when you don't have the strength." - Napoleon Bonaparte
Thank you so much Lily - I am sorry you know that.
Cracked i think you are awesome you have been there for me on so many occasssions and even at my very lowest which i know was only recently and even when i have lied and broken promises you have been that safety for people and you so deserve some looking after too! I hope there are a few people around you who can provide you with what you need and to help you out when you are feeling wobbly as you are so often there for lots of other people!!
Lots of hugs
A beautiful thing is never perfect
A certain kind of darkness is needed to see the stars
Thanks so much lonely-girl. Please dont worry about what happened the importat thing is that you are OK. Thank you for your support.
Dear Sam thank you so much, that means a very lot to me indeed. Thank you.
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