I am hopefully going in the right direction. I have been on my increased meds for a couple of weeks now and whilst things are not good I dont think they are getting worse anymore.
Someone very wise pointed out to me I am likely not actually suicidal rather I want to be looked after. And whilst I am worried about the secondary gain aspect of that I think she is right probably. If I truly wanted to die I would be dead.
This episode has hit me pretty hard and I feel like I have had a rather public meltdown on this forum but I am very grateful for all the support and kindness I have been offered. I really hope normal service will resume shortly.
I hope you are all well.
Hugs
Cracked