I am sitting here looking at my arms and legs and I can see all the new cuts on them and I realise that my lapse appears to have turned into a relapse as I have many new ones and they are getting worse. The old addictive behaviour seems to be back again. And I soothe them with baby wipes. Why cant I just soothe my skin with baby wipes without having to throw cutting into the mix?
I know i should practise what I preach but I am struggling to do so atm. And I cant tell irl because the consequences of it will be bad, meaning I have to defer important medical tests. Despite knowing this I keep cutting.
My therapist asked me where the pain was. It made me cry but I did not have an answer. I am not sure where this has come from. I thought it was because I have been low, now I am not sure. Whatever it is, it is making me sad but I cant seem to find the willpower to stop it.
Hope you are OK
Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks2 Comments Viewed 77355 times
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Obey The Moderator
is there anyone there, non-medical personnel, you can talk to? I don't think that any words over the internet would help you like someone who could hold you
Dx: Bipolar II Disorder, Rapid Cycling, Anxiety NOS
You are right hon - that would really help.
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