Trigger
I am sitting here looking at my arms and legs and I can see all the new cuts on them and I realise that my lapse appears to have turned into a relapse as I have many new ones and they are getting worse. The old addictive behaviour seems to be back again. And I soothe them with baby wipes. Why cant I just soothe my skin with baby wipes without having to throw cutting into the mix?
I know i should practise what I preach but I am struggling to do so atm. And I cant tell irl because the consequences of it will be bad, meaning I have to defer important medical tests. Despite knowing this I keep cutting.
My therapist asked me where the pain was. It made me cry but I did not have an answer. I am not sure where this has come from. I thought it was because I have been low, now I am not sure. Whatever it is, it is making me sad but I cant seem to find the willpower to stop it.
Hope you are OK
Hugs
Cracked