NOTE: I'm not diagnosed with major depression, I'm only writing about how I feel depressed. Of course, that's not the same and I have don't want to diagnose myself. But major depression runs in my family and it wouldn't suprise me if I suffer from major depression. This week I gonna make an appointment with my GP.
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Most people with antisocial personality disorder seem to feel bored and restless and I can relate to that. But I don't even feel that anymore. It's like I'm not feeling anything anymore. As someone with AsPD, I am used to shallow affect. That means that I don't feel emotions that deeply. They easily fade away and I don't care that long about emotional situations. I'm capable of moving on very fast.

But I've felt them in the past, everyday. I still felt contentment, pleasure and euphoria everyday. I also felt boredom, anger, frustration and annoyance.

The last time, I haven't felt anything. It bothers me. All I feel is headache and tiredness. I don't feel hunger. I could easily kill myself, but rationally I know there must be a way out somewhere. A psychiatrist? Anti depressants? I hope so.

I don't believe in therapy, because I don't have a reason to feel this way. If I would have a good reason, talking about it and healing from some things would be a perfect solution. But I don't believe it's that simple. I just don't know what this is.