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AliceWolfe
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Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:09 am
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New Blog.
   Tue May 22, 2012 2:05 pm

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New Blog.

Permanent Linkby AliceWolfe on Tue May 22, 2012 2:05 pm

I hate my old blog entry. I don't even remember writing it. In fact I can't look into my history in comments because I can't remember anything that I wrote previously. I can't remember a lot of this last year. Really, of the last 3 years. That is very concerning to me. :?

I can't remember my wedding day, except for a few flashes. I DEFINITELY don't remember my wedding night. I don't remember a lot of my dating history. The main thing I remember before all of this was when I was about 18 1/2 to 19 1/2 yrs old.

Even then, it's spotty.

I'm sure this is normal. When I try to read about what I wrote here previously, I get a very bad headache and start to get panic attacks. Don't get me wrong, I remember some "glimpses"... like corners of pages. I remember the ASPD forum way better than everything else, but even then I don't remember a lot.

I'm terrified. My life is about to take another turn, and now on top of that I have this weird phobia of hospitals and my health that I never had before. I feel angry all the time, I am not as religious as I used to be.

There is still some of me here, but I feel... different.

I don't like this. Not at all. How much more of my life am I going to forget? What if I have a child? Will I forget them too?

Of course, with the health difficulties I am now having, there is a possibility I will no longer be able to have children. That will greatly effect my mental health.

Let's hope I'm wrong.

Xoxo

Alice

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First blog

Permanent Linkby AliceWolfe on Tue Oct 04, 2011 4:39 am

I am up to 188 now, where did it all go? Why is this happening to me?

I have decided that starting tomorrow if my psychiatrist doesn't help me lose weight and become normal again that I will stop taking all medication, especially anti-psychotic. They just try to stick you full of drugs anyhow.

That's all for now. I feel so sick of myself. How did I let this happen?

Alice

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