I have been thinking about my hospital admission in Feb when I tried to commit suicide. It is on my mind atm. I (obviously) failed but I meant it. I was on one to one obs for over a week which was awful as I had to shower in front of ppl and use the toilet in front of ppl, I was so ashamed I did not open my bowels the whole time - not that I was eating much. It was for safety tho as everywhere I looked I saw opportunities for suicide, my mind had come to a standstill except ways to commit suicide. I was so upset I had failed. I moved hospital and had to deal with the evil consultant from hell who was horrible. But for some reason yesterday when I was having a really bad day I really wanted to be on 1 to 1 obs as I wanted someone to look out for me when I was feeling wobbly, and there was no one there and I wished there was. Just sad that I thought the place to get that looking after from was from hospital obs.
Hope you are all OK
Cracked