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You lose some...

Permanent Linkby salted lipstick on Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:36 am

Been uncovering some awful stuff lately... It's bringing me down...

Really sick, disgusting, horrific stuff... I can't even bring myself to say... I feel so alone... I've never even read anything like it before... I can't believe I experienced such sickness from another human being...

I think my body can't ever be clean or pure again...

Why did they do that to me? Why did they think I deserved THAT? Couldn't they have spared me? Surely I didn't deserve THAT... WHY WHY WHY WHY did I endure such awfulness... WHY DID I DESERVE THAT????
YUCKY SICK DISGUSTING YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK GROTTY GROTTY YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In a way, I am not defined by my dissociation. In a way, I am.

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Re: You lose some...

Permanent Linkby lifeontheinside on Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:53 am

Thinking of you salted
I ask the same questions too,but I dont have any answers,I wish I did.
All I know is that there are some sadistic sick people out there and I hope they all die horrible slow painful deaths or at least in the after life be held accountable for every one of there disgusting actions commited against the innocent.
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Re: You lose some...

Permanent Linkby brandic on Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:29 am

I am so so sorry. Why do people do the things they do? Why do they think it's okay to do those things...??

We don't deserve any of what happened to us. We don't. And we don't deserve to continue to be affected and tormented by the things these people did. And yet we are followed around by these things, like a shadow that we can't get rid of. It's the abusers sick control even long after they are gone...

I don't have an answer for how to feel better. I am just so so sorry. It sounds like you probably don't need advice, you just need comfort and support. You didn't deserve those things. No one deserves those things. Just remember you aren't those things.

i am so sorry :(.
<hug>
Dx - DID

Brandic (me), Asher, RAGE, Samantha, young violent part, young me (scared part), protector (semi-mute), "the part who feels no pain"

My blog:
http://nothinginmynoggin.wordpress.com/
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Re: You lose some...

Permanent Linkby shalom on Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:45 pm

None of you deserved any of it
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Re: You lose some...

Permanent Linkby salted lipstick on Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:53 pm

Thank you all for your comments...

lifeontheinside, thank you for your support.

brandic, you summed up my feelings completely when you said we "continue to be affected and tormented by the things these people did. And yet we are followed around by these things, like a shadow that we can't get rid of. It's the abusers sick control even long after they are gone". That is so true and sums up so well how I feel. It was a relief to read that someone else can understand so well... Thank you so much for your comfort and support. <hugs back>

shalom, thank you. It is reassuring to hear that from another person too...
In a way, I am not defined by my dissociation. In a way, I am.

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