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Constantly ruining my relationships

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Constantly ruining my relationships

Postby Type2_bp » Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:08 am

Ive ruined all of my relationships. Starting unnecessary drama by running my mouth because i think that some things just need to be said and then not remembering why I said the things that I said. I do everything to push people away. I always thought I was just a bitch, but after therapy and researching bipolar disorder, I realized that this only happens when I'm manic. Soon after I become extremely depressed because I know what I've done and that it's always my fault. It's like I'm finding reasons to make myself miserable. Why do I do this to everyone that comes in my life?
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Re: Constantly ruining my relationships

Postby Infinite_Jester » Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:30 am

Hey Type 2 BP,

I can really empathize with what you're saying. I found there was a period where whenever I was (hypo)manic I would become very talkative, agitated and impulsive. This would make me say really bizarre, arrogant, stupid and hurtful things which I would always regret. It seemed to be inevitable.

Maybe you're somewhat the same. At least, that's what I kind of notice. It does sound like when you're hypomanic you tend to say things that you regret later and with Type 2 Depression it must really be rough.

With that said, try not to beat yourself up about this. Becoming uncouth because of hypomania is just part of the disorder. I know that sounds like an excuse but it's true.

Take care and best wishes.
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Re: Constantly ruining my relationships

Postby CrackedGirl » Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:41 pm

I think this is a really common problem for ppl with BP. Whilst saying it is due to illness is not always a good excuse it is at least an explanation and one that you could maybe give to ppl in your life who you want to build bridges with. Having insight is really important and it is good that you have that. I know it sucks but hopefully now you are aware of it you can try to do something to not do it so frequently. Hang in there

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Re: Constantly ruining my relationships

Postby Type2_bp » Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:33 am

Thanks for the support. The other day i had taken upon myself to "fix" my friend's relationship. Of course i made it so much worse. I felt like crap after all of it. But i explained to her how reckless my mouth/attitude can get when my moods cycle and that i was extremely sorry. I figured she wouldnt want to speak to me anymore. She was understanding and said she'd continue to support me through all of this. We'll both have to tread with caution until i get back to my dr
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Re: Constantly ruining my relationships

Postby CrackedGirl » Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:31 am

I am glad you are going to continue to have support from your friend and you could talk things out

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Re: Constantly ruining my relationships

Postby Infinite_Jester » Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:06 am

That's good to hear that you talked to your friend Type 2 BP. It sounds like she understands how your mood effects your decision making. Hopefully over time she will come to learn more about the disorder and see that you're trying to make self improvements.

Let us know how your doctor appointment goes. Take care.
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