Thank you, Infinite Jester. You always leave such thoughtful, well-written posts.
The most noticeable difference between the two is, of course, hypomania/mania. But I've been staring at articles about mania and thinking about it for so long now I'm just confused and beginning to doubt my feelings.
But why not have story time?
The first depressive and hypomanic experiences were relatively mild and very fast. I did notice them because they were right after the other. I remember thinking, "Well that was very weird. I don't get PMS, so it's not that..." One day I was lying in my bed crying over strange things [like how a child actor from the 60s never had a successful career], and the next I was feeling great.
Since then each episode has gotten longer and more intense, and they are generally separated by a stretch of normal mood. This depressive mood has lasted about 4 months. About two weeks ago I started feeling better but since then I've been up and down on a day-to-day basis.
I did, however, look back through my creative writing files. The days and weeks where I have written the most [sometimes ten or more poems in a day] coincide with the dates I have sent very sexually playful e-mails [
] and the only two times I have bought $80 heels.
I do remember that during these poem/writing fests, I sometimes had about seven Word documents open at a time, rapidly switching between them and typing, with a word or phrase in one poem sparking another. I specifically recall that I could not remember writing this one poem [and it's actually one of my favourites now].
I'm not sure how normal it is to write 13 poems in a day or start and finish an entire short story in one evening and then stay up really really late finishing homework....