Our partner




Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Bipolar Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderators: CrackedGirl, EarlGreyDregs, Cheze2, Oliveira

Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby Naugabury » Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:49 am

Does anyone else become fixated on the past when they're feeling down? I become preoccupied with these horrible friends I used to have that betrayed me, and start to idolize our friendship and want them back. I start fantasizing about bumping into them, and truly believing it can happen. I stalk them online and think seriously about contacting them (already tried a couple times). I'm completely aware of how creepy this is, but I just can't stop and I miss them so badly. No matter what great new friends I make, nobody measures up.
User avatar
Naugabury
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:07 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 12:29 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Feb 15, 2012 5:55 am

Hi hon

I am not sure exactly what this is about - do you have a therapist? If so I suspect it is one to take to them. I think tho that a key here is separating out fantasy from acting on it. If you can keep this in your head I think it is manageable, it is if you start to act on it that things can go awry. tho ideally it would be good if you could get to the bottom of it with a therapist so it was not making you miserable. Sorry not to be of more help but do be careful you dont act on these thoughts of wanting to stalk and get in touch with them as they could report you for harrassment.

Cracked
Smile. It's so hard to look up when you've been down. Sure would hate to see you give up now. You look so much better when you smile. So smile.


We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

Liberal Backslider

Obey The Moderator

Image
User avatar
CrackedGirl
Site Admin
 
Posts: 42680
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:51 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:29 am
Blog: View Blog (177)

Re: Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby Infinite_Jester » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:49 am

Hey Naugabury,

Sometimes I get caught thinking about a past experience I've had when I'm feeling really depressed/upset. It's usually after I've suffered some kind of failure. One moment I remembered was when I was in the hospital after I had attempted suicide and I was eating lunch. Then a nurse walked by and stared at me. She came up and grabbed the utensils from my hand and was like "no..." and came back with a plastic spoon. It just made me awful as a human being and whenever I feel awful as a human being I'm reminded of that.

But other than that I don't think about the past too much. It only really exists and stored representational/informational content in our neurons (this is contentious but I don't feel like doing philosophy of mind today so it'll do).

Take care Naugabury.

*Edit* I'm with Cracked. Maybe it's not such a good idea to be stalking them. Sorry I didn't mention anything about you in my post. It was a little selfish... :(
User avatar
Infinite_Jester
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1572
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:34 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 9:29 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby EarlGreyDregs » Wed Feb 15, 2012 4:08 pm

Hey -

I definitely obsess about the past when I'm depressed, rumination is often a symptom of it. But I also think that you should try your best not to try into contact with them, try to stop yourself from looking them up online, it will only feed the obsession & the bad feelings attached to them.

My one & only friend dumped me one day, randomly. I thought we had a close & good friendship, but apparently not. I often ruminate about this when depressed & wish that I could see her again. But I know that it's not healthy & would be a very bad idea if I tried to contact her again. We need to let go of the past, even though it's extremely hard.

- EGD.
..
EarlGreyDregs
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 4592
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:19 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 5:29 am
Blog: View Blog (7)

Re: Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby Naugabury » Wed Feb 15, 2012 6:38 pm

When I said I stalk them, it was really only yesterday I relapsed after not doing it for about half a year. I promised my boyfriend not to, and broke the promise yesterday. I won't act on it anymore I hope as I do know the consequences of my actions even if I do get a little carried away sometimes. I guess it's in a way always feeling like you're worse off now than before, and idolizing the past just because the present seems worse for whatever reason.

And yes, I do have a therapist, and will definitely be mentioning this more in depth to her next time I see her.
User avatar
Naugabury
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:07 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 12:29 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Feb 15, 2012 6:59 pm

I hope things start to improve for you soon

Cracked
Smile. It's so hard to look up when you've been down. Sure would hate to see you give up now. You look so much better when you smile. So smile.


We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

Liberal Backslider

Obey The Moderator

Image
User avatar
CrackedGirl
Site Admin
 
Posts: 42680
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:51 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:29 am
Blog: View Blog (177)

Re: Obsessed with the past while meds aren't working

Postby phunkychikk » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:41 pm

All the time. Was married for 9 years and I keep trying to figure out how it went so wrong. Since my divorce, my life has gone progressively downhill - out of control spending to the point where I'm seeing a bankruptcy attorney soon, out of control sex with strangers and groups of men at a time, awful boyfriends who claimed to love me but really didn't, and now a horrible horrible depression triggered by my mother's onset of dementia and the cruel things she says to me. Broke if off with my last boyfriend right after seeing my mother and that made the depression worse. Wound up in the hospital. The bill was 6grand and i have no health insurance. I'm 47. I don't feel like it's possible for life to get any worse.

The EMTs who took me to the hospital stole my meds and I never got them back. The doctor at the hospital prescribed me my zoloft but not enough and I have run out and am experiencing bizarre withdrawal right at this moment. I see my physician in 2 days but am hoping to try something other than Zoloft and Abilify because they stopped working and Abilify costs waaaaayyyy to much money.

Very hopeless at the moment. I don't see the point of my life at all. I just want to be alone in a room for the rest of my years.
phunkychikk
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:54 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 12:29 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Bipolar Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Confuzzled12 and 58 guests