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How to convince my spouse to seek help?

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How to convince my spouse to seek help?

Postby al10 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:04 pm

I believe my wife is suffering from bipolar disorder, or something with a similar set of symptoms. We have been married > 15 years, and I have lived through several manic-like episodes, but this has been the longest and toughest. I have not given up on the relationship, but it taking a big toll on me and the kids; I know I can't stay in this situation indefinitely and remain healthy.

She exhibits most of the standard symptoms, including not sleeping, extreme irritability, rapid speech, chain smoking, non-stop activity, high aggression dealing with everyone around her, spending money like it comes out of a tap, etc. Each cycle like this, we lose more family friends; I'm not sure we have any left now. Most worrisome are persecutory delusions: she thinks people are recording phone conversations, have long-range mics and cameras pointed at our house, and tail her car when she leaves. There is also a family history of similar mental illness.

Living in this situation for so long, I question my own judgement, but this time, I have her family, the police, our lawyer (who she contacted about the surveillance), her doctor, and now the local Children's Aid society (referred by her doctor) all saying there is a serious issue here.

I have tried to convince her to see someone, and her doctor has set up two referral appointments, which she refused to attend. This, like most conversations seem like an exercise in futility. She has an answer for everything, someone else (often me) is always at fault, and delivers it in such an aggressive, "wired" way that you can't get in two words. She thinks that seeing a psychologist means months of diagnosis, followed by "knock-out" pills.

The situation is difficult for me and the kids, and I can't keep this up forever. Worse, the Children's aid society is threatening legal action to force her to get help or be removed from the household. Her attitude is "bring it on"... she almost seems to relish the idea of another battle.

Any suggestions on how I can approach this?
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Re: How to convince my spouse to seek help?

Postby Son » Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:17 pm

Your wife sounds very unwell. I'm not sure what to tell you, other than I have been in her position and it's very difficult to believe that your judgement is truly impaired. I am stable now but during the worst of my last episode I probably should have been hospitalized, just to minimize the damage I was doing to my relationship, credit cards, and safety. I didn't resist treatment though, since I was on meds as a teenager and know that if you find the right ones there isn't any sense of being knocked out or losing who you are.
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Re: How to convince my spouse to seek help?

Postby CrackedGirl » Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:36 pm

It sounds like she is very unwell and you may be at a place where she is considered a danger to herself or others. I think it would be a good idea to talk to her Dr about what is going on and see if they think she needs hospitalisation to stabilise her - depending on their assessment of how ill she is this potentially could be done against her will. This must be a very difficult situation to be in, please keep posting here for support and I hope her Dr is helpful.

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Re: How to convince my spouse to seek help?

Postby never42 » Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:35 am

I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
"We're all f***ed in our own little unique ways"

"The point is that when you're depressed, you're in a constant battle with your dumb brain for control of your life." - Mark Hill

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Re: How to convince my spouse to seek help?

Postby Bipolarized » Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:54 pm

I hate to say it, suggest rather, but if you fear she is destroying her future with her kids and yourself, and her job WILL NOT be affected by being admitted to a psychiatric hospital.....you could call the police and say she threatened her life. They WILL, at the very least, take her to the hospital and make sure she stays for evaluation. is it wrong to lie? yes. will this lie better her future? that's for you to decide.

perhaps read this for more insight on involuntary commitment.

http://psychrights.org/states/Maine/Inv ... Curtis.htm
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