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Trying to keep myself grounded

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Trying to keep myself grounded

Postby maddogmaddy » Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:55 pm

I don't know if I'm going through some different form of mania, or a mixed episode, or what... Since last week I've been so happy - not manic, just content, calm, productive. I genuinely felt good. Yesterday afternoon I could feel that fading, slightly, and by last night I was a little overly emotional. I was able to pull myself out of it through sheer willpower. This morning, I feel "dark". I'm not angry, upset, nothing like that. But the reason I mentioned mania...I feel invincible. I'm not giddy or excited, which is what normally accompanies this feeling. I feel somber, yet very powerful. I have the need to do something great, something extreme. In all honesty, I want to join the military. I know that's not realistic for several reasons; one being, they simply wouldn't take me with my diagnosis.
*sigh*
I have to find some way, some productive way, to release this energy and to act on these feelings. I'm not content with just ignoring it until it goes away. I'm tired of doing that.
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Re: Trying to keep myself grounded

Postby Chucky » Wed Nov 10, 2010 10:22 pm

It seems to me that you're at the 'learning' stage here - i.e. you are learning ways to manage the illness that you have. Perhaps, you have even accepted that it's there to stay with you...? I think that acceptance of a mental illness is at times the best option to do, as it at least allows you to enter the 'learning' phase (as i've just called it now for some reason!). By all means, use your great energy to good effect when it comes, but when those low moments come, learn to take a breather and do whatever is necessary to get through it. For example, take it easy - in general - and put on some good music. If you don't wanna shave, then don't shave. If you do'nt wanna shower, then don't either. The mood will lift, as it always has.

I use my energy to come here to reply to posts. Others resort to art, while others again go to the gym. Figure out what is best for you. If you can manage this illness that has manifested itself in you, I believe that you can be a great individual and be quite creative.

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Re: Trying to keep myself grounded

Postby maddogmaddy » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:37 am

Chucky wrote:It seems to me that you're at the 'learning' stage here - i.e. you are learning ways to manage the illness that you have. Perhaps, you have even accepted that it's there to stay with you...? I think that acceptance of a mental illness is at times the best option to do, as it at least allows you to enter the 'learning' phase (as i've just called it now for some reason!). By all means, use your great energy to good effect when it comes, but when those low moments come, learn to take a breather and do whatever is necessary to get through it. For example, take it easy - in general - and put on some good music. If you don't wanna shave, then don't shave. If you do'nt wanna shower, then don't either. The mood will lift, as it always has.

I use my energy to come here to reply to posts. Others resort to art, while others again go to the gym. Figure out what is best for you. If you can manage this illness that has manifested itself in you, I believe that you can be a great individual and be quite creative.

Kevin


Thank you for helping to put things in perspective a little more. I agree that I am in a learning stage; but that's an ongoing thing with me...I like to learn, and espcially about things that directly relate to me. I accepted the illness long before the doctors put the label on me. And I will definately try to figure out the best direction to route my energy :)
Dx: Schizoaffective - Bipolar Type, Rapid Cycling
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Mother of three
Electrical Maintenance Student
Homemaker


Country music singin, cowboy boot wearin red-headed midwestern sweetheart <3
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Re: Trying to keep myself grounded

Postby Chucky » Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:36 pm

No problem my friend. Please let me know what you figure out is best to divert your energy to.

Kevin
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Re: Trying to keep myself grounded

Postby wilsn » Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:16 am

Maddy,

I am going through one of these phases now and still searching out truth about my illness. I spend my time with my art, its something in my home and It really doesn't require me to change out of my PJ's. I can stop when I want or when i feel complete. Usually, I play some sort of music while i'm painting, drawing or writing....depending on my mood. All my paintings are about me and the way I feel or my perception of things.

Go for it, try something new. Start slow and work your way into something constructive/creative.
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