Insecure, SEX, neediness, wtf is going on with me?

Hello everyone. Just wanted to share what has been going on with me lately to see if anyone deals with the same issues.

So my wife and I have been together for about 12 years now. We have an awesome relationship, 2 kids, and are still very much in love.

I am usually a very confident and not insecure at all. I have never felt this way before.

But for some reason the past couple months I have been very insecure....like obsessively. Especially when it comes to my relationship with my wife. Like I need constant affection, reassurance, and regular sex(I could literally do it a couple times a day, not in a horny way. Just to feel close to each other)if it is not given to me often I notice and fixate on why she doesn\'t want to. But we do on average a couple times a week, which is great. My days lately pretty much revolve around spending as much time with her as possible....smothering, right? I keep thinking that some day she will leave me because she will have finally had enough of dealing with a bi-polar husband( although I am not that hard to deal with, and sometimes I am extra awesome heh). I guess I have an intense fear of loss lately.

I have even been jealous of her past relationships out of the blue for no reason at all, it never bothered me before at all....These feelings are driving me absolutely crazy, I am not this person at all and I hope it passes. Is this how teenage girls feel? Hah

I am totally open with her and let her know what is happening with me, we both know it is foolish thoughts but it still won\'t go away.


I just wish the obsessive insecure thoughts would stop playing over in my head all day. I have the odd few days where my mind slows down and I am more realistic. But I have been bouncing all over the place lately with my moods.One minute I am crying because I think my wife doesn\'t love me, then I\'ll be irritable, then anxious, then happy.......

Not sure if I am depressed, hypomanic, or just nuts.

Again this is not me, I recognise these feelings are not right.

Does anyone else have this? Bouts of extreme insecurities? I have been tapering up my lamictal to 200mg day...but I am feeling like I might need something to slow down my unquiet mind. I find my self taking Ativan a lot lately just to take the edge off and not "feel" so much.

Hi Joee,

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with these issues at the moment. I know how confusing and scary it can be when you just don't know what's happening to you. I could be wrong, but from what you said it sounds as if these problems and changes could have coincided with a mood shift for you.

What you said about your mood altering rapidly and your mind feeling sped up reminds me very much of my mixed episodes (which I think are technically a 'high'). In these states, I've become obsessive about love interests in a fashion that almost seems like a 'crush', obsessed over them and become hypersexual. Very out of character for me.

I'd definitely recommend that you talk to your psychiatrist about all this. You could even print out and show them this post if it's easier than explaining it. I know it might seem embarrassing but if it's mood related, then a tweak in your meds could very well give you relief. My mixed episodes were only treated once I started taking Seroquel/Quetiapine, but everyone is different. Hope this helps and these issues subside soon. Hugs, if wanted!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post, I really appreciate it.

Seroquel is one I haven't tried yet but sounds promising. I am terrified of the weight gain. But I guess it is part of the deal.

I am just so sick of this obsessively needy feeling. It has consumed my life lately, I have been on an ativan bender just to slow my mind down and leave my wife alone some. Because I realize my behavior must be annoying her.

Hopefully this bad patch ends soon

And......it's so weird I don't even feel this way at all anymore , hah all is good now. I wrote this not even a couple weeks ago and now I don't even give it a second thought.

I guess this is what being bipolar is all about....let's see what I come up with next:(

Hi Joee,

I just wanted to let you know I am going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend right now. We have been together for 7 years and he's seen me at my worst with this disorder. I'm having a mixed episode and feel totally insecure and needy. Normally, I enjoy spending time by myself but lately I've been reduced to infantile behaviour. My poor BF is at his wits end having to constantly re-assure me.
I guess the whole point to this is that I totally get where you're coming from. Let's hope this ends soon!

Buttercup

I'm constantly seeking affirmation right now.
Not in a relationship.
Seeking affirmation from people I don't like who don't like me.
What is that all about?

Time to just walk away.
No need to even make the effort or take the time to agree to disagree.
Just go find a different part of the jungle to hang out in.
There will be other species of animals to interact with.
Maybe different plants to eat.

I don't get exactly like this, but I can. When I am dating someone or like someone, I want to see them a lot. I get hypomanic.

Then when I am depressed, I am convinced they hate me.

I dont date anymore, btw.