Challenging negative self talk

Thanks for the useful suggestion of ACT as a different type of therapy to try, Eilatan. I'd vaguely heard of it but didn't know what it really involved, so thanks for the explanation. Next time I see my pdoc I think I'll ask him about it to see if it's something my Trust offers. Good luck with the rest of your sessions. Like you said, it sounds hard work but hopefully it's something that will pay off in the end.

Oliveira, it's good to know you've managed to use some ACT style techniques already and that they've helped you out. It's particularly impressive you've managed to employ them to some extent when manic/paranoid!

Come to think of it, I seem to be able to distance myself from my thoughts a bit easier when (hypo)manic, as long as I'm not too far in to the mania/psychosis, than I do with the usual thoughts I have when stable. I think it's because I've been through so many highs, it's fairly easy to identify them as 'manic thoughts', whereas with the negative automatic thoughts I have when I'm otherwise well, I tend to accept them as true, and that's where they get distressing. Hopefully attempting to diffuse the thoughts rather than challenge them might prove more effective. Thanks again, guys!

Oliveira
Yeah I'm pretty paranoid right now. It's absolutely being tested to the limit!

Glad you managed to side step the spy! X

-- Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:47 pm --

Ennui

Fingers crossed your trust offers it! X x

well i've struggled with self confidence issues for years but I think i've recovered from most of it. I think I just step back sometimes, and try not to let it take control. I have faith in myself more than when I was younger. It's about self control, how much you realize it's just yourself sabotaging yourself and if you have control of changing the situation. It's going to take years for me to stop being passive, stop giving up and have some self love for myself. I feel it's all about trying as hard as you can against all odds and not letting the past or yourself get in the way. You need to recognize what's harming you.

Thanks so much for your reply and advice, Bunnybug. I'm glad to hear things have improved for you over the years when it comes to your self-confidence. Clearly, I'm still struggling with that and have been through a lot over the past five years or so which has knocked my self-confidence further (hospitalisation, a string of inadequate pdocs, ultimately having to give up full-time work and move back home, bereavement etc.)

Did you use any particular techniques or strategies to stop the self sabotage or was it just something that happened organically? My issue is that I fully recognise how toxic my negativity is, and that it's only holding me back, but I can't seem to prevent it happening.

Ennui wrote:Did you use any particular techniques or strategies to stop the self sabotage or was it just something that happened organically? My issue is that I fully recognise how toxic my negativity is, and that it's only holding me back, but I can't seem to prevent it happening.

I think because I was able to stabilize for a while I could separate some of my bipolar symptoms from my personality, even though I still had a few. It does make it harder when you relapse to separate it and I know depression and mania skews your self view. I talked to my therapist about it, about my problems as well as trying to just overcome it myself. My therapist offered some tips and I tried myself just to stop being afraid to talk to people, being afraid to do a lot of things. There are a lot of different strategies, I think having a therapist or someone like that to talk to would give you some. I don't want to make it sound easy, because I wasn't in the worst of situations. But it's just patience and not giving up, it takes your whole life to change, it's never overnight. I'm still working on it, I still have self confidence issues. I might be less scared and more willing to open up, but there's always a long road ahead.

bunnybug wrote:I think because I was able to stabilize for a while I could separate some of my bipolar symptoms from my personality.

This is where my biggest problem lies – sorry to do a mini-hijack Ennui – my longest stable period since diagnosis has been 4.5 months. A friend asked me recently if I would 100% honestly like to recover from BP. I am not sure what the answer is. Because I don't know what that would mean. I can see signs of bipolar from my teenage years (hindsight etc.), I don't know who I would be if BP disappeared.

Anyway, that's off-topic, apols. Fully agreed it's not something that happens overnight. For me personally the self-confidence thing is still an issue, just to much smaller degree than before. But it doesn't mean I overcame everything (which is good, because I would probably become an arrogant, terrible person convinced about my absolute perfection which, coincidentally, is who I was when hypomanic).

Thanks for a helpful reply again, Bunnybug. I've actually had a lot of instability, especially over the last year, and we're now trying to switch my meds around to combat it, so that may be confusing the view I have of myself even further. I see a counsellor, who provides more of an impartial listening ear than advice or strategies, but like I said in my earlier post, I'll ask my pdoc whether they're able to refer me on to any more therapy through the National Health Service. I absolutely get what you're saying, change of this type is never going to happen overnight- it absolutely requires patience and hard work to get there.

Oliveira- don't worry, you haven't hijacked the thread at all. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have had so little time spent stable, and I can understand you being unsure about what a life without BP would look like as a result. As far as I know, I cycle in a fairly 'usual' way, with my mood episodes without treatment lasting several months or more. My main issue at the minute seems to be recurrent mixed episodes, that even Quetiapine/Seroquel wouldn't treat properly, so I had to go back on Olanzapine/Zyprexa in addition.

Thanks for reiterating that the change I'm looking for won't happen quickly- I know I'm in it for the long haul. I'm glad you've been able to overcome a lot of your self confidence issues, even if some still remain.

Haha, that sounds like me when hypomanic, by the way, too! I don't know if it's a coincidence or not that I also spend probably the least time hypomanic out of all my mood states... send me straight up to mania, baby!