Our partner

The I need Help Thread

Bipolar Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Otter

The I need Help Thread

Postby cheenzsd » Mon Oct 10, 2016 2:17 am

Hi. So, I'm writing in this forum because I'm pretty sure I have bipolar disorder. I'm just sick of it, I have never been to a psychologist because my parents think these are just normal mood swings every teenager have. I just recently have disappointed my parents in the worst way possible. I told them I wanted to drop university. Since I got in, I didn't want to study, there were weeks in which I sat on my desk very joyful with the topics I read, thinking how interesting my life would be in the future studying similar topics. But lately, things have gotten darker for me, and that feeling of wanting to be better just disappeared, which has made me stop studying. I have finals next week, and I haven't studied a bit since I just don't want to. I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for being such a terrible student, daughter, and sister to my little brother that I just want to die. I need help, I can't keep with this anymore. What should I do? I know I will fail my exams, and I hate failing, but I just can't study, I don't want to try something I know I will fail in. I've never been this type of person, that's why I'm afraid of this kind of thoughts. Please, I'm begging for some wise words.

(Forgive my grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language)
cheenzsd
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 1:42 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 7:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (1)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: The I need Help Thread

Postby Ennui » Mon Oct 10, 2016 2:00 pm

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment. I know only too well how frightening and overwhelming it can feel to be fighting against mood instability while trying to achieve- it can seem impossible sometimes.

I was really fortunate to get a tremendous amount of support when required at university, otherwise I almost certainly would have had to drop out. This included retaking exams I'd done when in a manic episode as a first attempt, taking exams in a private room, and deadline extensions. It meant that I had to disclose my disability to my university department and supply a doctor's note when needed, though.

I know you say you're coming up to finals but it might still be worth talking to your university lecturers about what is going on to see if any support is available. If not, it might be possible to retake this year or semester once you're feeling more stable.

As for getting medical help for the possible bipolar, as scary as it is, if your parents aren't very supportive or understanding, you may have to arrange to see a psychiatrist on your own (or take someone else who's close to you for support). As far as I know only a psychiatrist can diagnose bipolar, or another mental health condition, and a diagnosis is the starting point for any treatment.

Sending you lots of hugs if wanted and supportive thoughts your way. I felt very similar to how you must be feeling now when I fell into a prolonged and deep depression in the middle of my studies, but made it through with lots of support. I hope you're able to get the support you need to successfully get through this difficult time. Please keep us updated as to how you're doing.
'Un ennui...' (Mallarmé)

'Perseverance is power' (Japanese proverb)

'All the world's a stage,/And all the men and women merely players'

Diagnoses: Bipolar affective disorder, GAD

Medications: 800mg Tegretol XR, 5mg Zyprexa
Ennui
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1383
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 2:10 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 12:07 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The I need Help Thread

Postby quietgirl2538 » Fri Oct 14, 2016 12:44 am

My thoughts on the fact that your parents aren't too keen on believing that you may have bipolar is to just keep watch of your symptoms and when they get to a point that they are truly affecting your daily life, then go tell them again. I just don't understand how parents can be so irresponsible with this type of thing. Bipolar will show itself without a doubt. Bipolar II is harder to detect because you have hypomanic episodes that can easily be thought of as "just feeling really great." The depressions are horrendous for both Bipolar I and Bipolar II. I understand from my reading that Bipolar II has more depression involved in it then Bipolar I. I'd suggest you get a book or workbook that specifically goes through detailed descriptions of symptoms and write it all down so you can be able to take it to a doctor. I wish you lots of luck!
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Bipolar I
ADD (inattentive kind)
*I take loads of meds, but they keep me stable
User avatar
quietgirl2538
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6025
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:23 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 7:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (141)

Re: The I need Help Thread

Postby resaebiunne » Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:58 am

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions or try and self diagnose yourself.

My recommendation is this: Take a few semesters off of school, find something to keep you busy and occupied (a job or internship for example) and during this time, talk to your doctors and a psychiatrist, make some new friends, volunteer, etc. It sounds to me like bipolar doesn't fit, but depression might (not a doctor here). That or you might just be burned out from stresses of being a student.

School isn't everything, but it will help you find a decent and stable job later in life. It is not a race however. Take your time if you need to and do it for yourself, not because it's what your parents expect.
resaebiunne
Consumer 3
Consumer 3
 
Posts: 72
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:54 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 7:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Bipolar Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 12 guests