Being open

As always, I agonise about how open I should be about bipolar.

This evening my housemate and I had dinner with the neighbours. Long dinner, great fun, plenty to eat and drink, etc. Anyway, towards the end, we get talking about religion and the Bible. I said to one of the neighbours that it should be read by everyone even if they had no religion because it would help him understand the cultural background to Western civilisation. I spoke about the Jewish contribution to the world and how the Old Testament was the record of the Jewish nation. So he asked if I was Jewish because of the way I was talking about it. Also my housemate was saying how I had a very Jewish approach to things.

The neighbour asked if I was Jewish. I said that if I had the choice, I probably would opt for that but I was afraid of religion because I didn't always trust my thoughts regarding it. I said that I crossed between Judaism and Buddhism. This seemed to interest him. So I explained that I had bipolar and sometimes religion became too intense to trust safely, so I made no commitment to any religious creed. That was that and it was a shame I was in such a position. By this point it was very late and we all said goodbye and went home.

Like I said, a great night. But I straddle that point of being open about mental health without making a point of it - or "pushing it" in a conversation. I feel no guilt about it anymore so why do I wonder about making a bad impression?

The thing is, at dinner also were a couple, one of whom was recently attacked and suffered a reasonably traumatic brain injury. We talked that through fairly openly.

Am I just striking my own little blow for openness and explaining my thoughts on deep subjects? Or am I being too mono-topical?

Please forgive me if I make this sound simplistic, but I think that if something interests you, why shouldn't you talk about it? Religion can feel taboo to some people, as can violence or nearly anything under the sun. If what you want to talk about doesn't jive with your audience, it's easy to change subjects. I would love to talk to more people about Bipolar Disorder, but I choose not to because it relates to me which makes me feel uneasy at the thought. It's a great topic though!

The decision on whether to disclose your bipolar disorder is a personal decision. Some people prefer to keep it to telling family and close friends. Others prefer to be open about their illness and educate people about it. Work disclosure is a harder decision IMO.

There's no reason for any person to feel inferior because they have this illness. That said, we cannot control how accepting people will be if and when we disclose to them. Some people feel very uncomfortable and sadly you may find them drifting away. This happened to me with a close friend. She simply couldn't relate at all, she clearly was surprised...it just made her uncomfortable and sadly we grew apart. Other people will give you a huge hug and be supportive.

A friend of mine has bipolar disorder and she elected not to tell her parents. She has a good relationship with them but she thinks they will discourage her from taking meds.

So, it's up to you. I'd recommend you start with disclosing to people that you are closest to and gradually see where you want to go from there.