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Do the professionals really listen?....

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Do the professionals really listen?....

Postby crazybipolarguy » Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:44 pm

I have recently had some very frustrating conversations with both the pdoc and tdoc. Sometimes it seems like they are listening but not hearing what I am saying or they put their own interpretation on something.

Do you find it hard to explain things to your pdoc or tdoc in a way they will understand? Its like the only response they have to anything is you need a change in med dosage or a change of meds. If they would just slow down and listen I think they would understand but its like they want to be 10 steps ahead.

Sometimes I think I have better listening skills than the professionals I am paying to listen and help.

It gets very frustrating.
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Re: Do the professionals really listen?....

Postby bumblebees » Thu Sep 03, 2015 12:52 am

I feel the same way.
Honestly, [if you live in the USA], our mental health care system is severely flawed. There aren't enough professionals to have an effective one-on-one consultations with all of their patients. (This is my opinion, anyway)
My psychiatrist has 15 minute appointment windows, and you're expected to have the whole conversation about meds and their effects and what steps to take in that small amount of time before the next one comes in. It might just be the region I live in (North East), but they are very ill-equipped to deal with everyone that needs help.
I'm sure they care about you, and listen the best they can. But honestly I feel like their main goal is to do an efficient job in as little time as they can.
I hope for your sake that the situation is different where you are, and I'm sorry if this response is very disheartening, haha.
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Re: Do the professionals really listen?....

Postby bipolarbirdie » Thu Sep 03, 2015 7:14 am

It's hard to be a diagnostician and a counsellor at the same time. Your doctor is taking in the data and he has to assess/examine that data according to your illness and it's progression and what treatment would be best. So if they don't seem to be listening to you their little minds are buzzing away trying to help your illness.

Counselling is a different skill which requires maintaining an empathetic connection. So you might feel that the counsellor with only a low level of qualifications will be much better at treating you as a person.

Only one person I have met in the entirety of my treatment over the past eight years manages to do both at once and fortunately he is my current doctor. A rare gem.
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Re: Do the professionals really listen?....

Postby Oliveira » Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:22 am

I had doctors that didn't listen. With one I ended up writing a formal complaint to his supervisor listing things he did that he shouldn't have, and vice versa. He'd roll his eyes when I made a suggestion, ignore my issues completely and just tell me what to do without explaining why.

My current doctor is a godsend. She won't do everything I want but that's probably a good thing ;) She listens, she explains things, she responds to e-mails, she's always considerate and helpful. I'm going to lose her in November and I am already mourning her, she's the best I ever had.

TL;DR version: you have the right to have a doctor that listens, and I suggest you look for one.
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Re: Do the professionals really listen?....

Postby crazybipolarguy » Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:39 pm

Thanks everyone for the responses and letting me vent. I really appreciate knowing I am not alone in my frustration/experience.

@bumblebees - I am in the Western US. I agree with you that there are not enough professionals available. Seems like the pdoc is 15 minutes and out the door for $200. I like both my pdoc and tdoc but just feel like listening skills sometimes could be better.

@bipolarbirdie - sounds like you are fortunate in finding the right doc. I have been through several and like my current support team, just sometimes feel unheard, which gets frustrating.

@Oliveria - sorry your are losing someone you like from your support team. Not sure I could handle someone rolling their eyes at me - that would get me walking out the door and asking for a refund. I am not confrontational enough to complain to a supervisor. When I get frustrated I just tend to quit but I know quitting (meds, therapy, etc) would likely lead me to hospitalization once again. It would also be the beginning of the end of my marriage. My wife has made it pretty clear that if I stop meds, therapy, support, etc. she is done...and I can't blame her.
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Re: Do the professionals really listen?....

Postby i-suppose-not » Fri Sep 04, 2015 12:35 pm

I think the most important aspect about working with professionals is standing your ground. Even if they aren't listening, you come in with an agenda (I've literally done this before, wrote it all done before going in for my appointment) and refused to leave until they'd addressed all the points!

You are paying them. You are owed answers. Look after yourself x
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