Think I'm bipolar/bpd but want to stay off drugs.

Haven't been diagnosed as bipolar. My last diagnosis was clinical depression with psychotic features. Do any of you manage off meds? I went psychotic last year and had no idea what was happening.
Took various drugs I didn't like but eventually came down. I think I'm starting to realize when manic and the other night I thought I was going to have a heart attack (before just assumed it was me being in a good mood...but its not that...more like I'm just extremely speedy) (have an inability to sleep without sleeping pills too).
Also, I've been having really bad headaches that come and go but that might be from high blood pressure.
Now I'm starting to worry I might be going psychotic again so I'm taking some leftover AP's until I feel straightened out....but I don't want to take them long.

Anyways, here are some other questions I have....

Isn't 40 kind of late in life to start having these episodes? Am I destined to always go psychotic now if I stay off meds or is it a " who knows" kind of thing? The mood swings I can deal with. But psychotic, no, can't deal with that at all.





I'm sure I have more questions but I have a headache right now.

I would appreciate any and all thoughts. Thanks.

I can understand this. When I had my first episode, age 25, I tried for two years to manage the situation by myself, with just psychologist input. This just made the problem worse.

When I did get onto meds I just went to the GP, who gave me the wrong meds, then was a couple of years after psychiatrist treatment before I got a diagnosis.

The correct bipolar meds kept me sane for two years, then I had a relapse. So now I'm on more meds, and it's time to review.

Meds can be tiresome, they are really not fun. But they do work to stop the psychosis and mood swings.

Some people complain of meds slowing their brain down, but the picture is not that simple. Psychotic episodes actually slow the brain down and you will have working memory problems even after your mood is over. So taking meds can prevent the long term development of pseudo-dementia.

On the other hand you do have to monitor your physical health with meds.

The expertise of the psychiatrist cannot be beaten in managing the illness. Combine this with support from a dedicated occupational therapist, psychologist or social worker and you are sitting pretty for psychosis.

There is a lot of stigma about psychiatrists and medication which is generated by anti-psychiatry interest groups and is complete hocum. Psychiatrists are just doctors like any doctor.

I have a bipolar friend who prefers to stay unmedicated. I'm not sure if it's just bipolar with her. Her behaviour lately has been on the verge of criminality. She doesn't have remorse about some of the things she's done, actually she boasts about them.

I don't think there is anything virtuous or romantic about trying to stay off meds. It's about what works for you and if no meds works for you then do it. But if you are struggling with the episodes these can be life-threatening or life-altering then if medication helps you then do it.

Taking left over medication is a bad idea.
Left over medication should be dropped off at your pharmacy. They know how to dispose of it properly. I thought just flushing left over drugs down the toilet was okay, but have since learned that scientists are finding trace amounts of psychiatric medication in fish... who would have guessed?

Hey!

I have bipolar which was previously diagnosed as BPD. Given that I responded very badly to BPD treatment and very well to bipolar treatment I trust that my current diagnoses is the correct one.

What I would say regarding meds is you need to get a clear diagnosis to make sure you're making the right decision.

BPD is something that can be managed with therapy. Bipolar, from my experience, is not.

I tried to stay off meds because I had been given SSRI's for BPD. As someone who actually had bipolar, SSRIs without any supplementary anti-psychotics was extremely dangerous for me. SSRI's triggered rapid-cycling mania in me which did not stop when I stopped them. I had about 6 manic episodes in as many months and finally had one severe enough to land me in a psychiatric hospital for 2.5 weeks. I suffered a complete psychotic break, was awake for over a week and suffered severe retrograde and antiretrograde amnesia.

Somewhat unbelievable at this point, my old psychiatrist was still insisting I had BPD and treated me with prozac and benzos. Luckily he went on holiday and I saw another Dr who is a specialist in bipolar and immediately recognised that the prozac was making me much worse and took me off it immediately.

At this point I had a deep distrust of medication and took myself off it again after leaving the hospital. Surprise, surprise, I had another manic episode.

Finally I was diagnosed with bipolar and prescribed quetiapine and aripripazole. I can honestly say that these medications have changed my life massively for the better. It's been a year and a half and I have not had any manic episodes, and only mild depression. I now feel like a normal, functioning human being and am stable to a degree I never thought possible.

What I'm trying to get at it: wrong medications can ruin your life. the right ones can save it. Be wary of SSRI's if you think you have bipolar. Atypical antipsychotics on the other hand, the worst side effect, even if they're not right, is drowsiness. It's worth trying them.

if you have to take sleeping pills (tranquilzers like zdrugs/nonbenzos?) regularly, they can easily worsen depression and cause psychosis. http://www.benzo.org.uk/

bipolar can appear at any age if you are genetically predisposed. one psychiatrist told me she had a patient who became bipolar in her 80s. she lived a rich privileged life but getting close to death and family issues caused a lot of stress that lead to bipolar. or so i was told

no. Just otc sleeping stuff.

I've written this here many times but I'll repeat myself: untreated bipolar disorder leads to brain shrinkage. Literally. Google "bipolar brain tissue shrinkage". Lithium and depakine stop this process.

Big hugs.