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I drink instead

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I drink instead

Postby mountainflowergirl » Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:57 pm

Forgive my english. I am Japanese. I have Bipolar. I am a alcoholic. I am not proud. When I was 16, I started to drink a lot. My family provide alcohol. After the suicide attempt by jumping, a therispt was given to me. I have bad childhood traumas between 3 and 17. My therapist perscibbed me drugs that I did not like. My bipolar is type II. I enjoy how my mania feels . i feel so happy during my mania and so sad without. I drink to feel better. My husband disrespects me with other woman. He drinks. I feel so awful on the drugs but i feel ashamed of drinking. i need help.
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Re: I drink instead

Postby Otter » Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:00 pm

HI mfg -

I don't have time to respond, but I am going to put this post in the Bipolar Forum as well.

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Re: I drink instead

Postby turnaround » Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:54 pm

Hello mountainflower,

Welcome to the bipolar forum. Please feel free to ask any questions and share anything with us that you wish to.

First, are you taking your medication as prescribed? I strongly urge you to do so if you are not.

It takes a lot of courage and honour to admit to yourself that you have a problem with alcohol and/or drugs. Well done. I read somewhere that at least 50% of people with bipolar have alcohol problems at some time so wherever you go, you are not alone. Are you able to discuss this with your doctor, therapist or psychiatrist?

I'm sorry that your husband does not treat you in the way you deserve to be treated. Do you have close friends that you can share this with? Or your therapist?

Your English is excellent, by the way! And I love Japanese poetry :-)
CJ

Meds: Depakote, quetiapine
Diagnosis: Bipolar II

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Re: I drink instead

Postby skilsaw » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:11 am

Being bipolar, even with intervals of mania, is not nice. You have a very difficult problem.
Drinking is no way to solve your problems. I think you know that.

I have a friend who has been helped very well by joining "Alcoholics Anonymous". I hope if you google Alcoholics Anonymous, you will find the Japanese name for the organization and local meetings in your area.

Take care,
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
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Re: I drink instead

Postby mountainflowergirl » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:14 am

I take quetiapine and it makes me feel awful. I sleep all day and eat. I am not going to therapist as she is in Japan. I do not take my medicines as I prefer alcohol. but I know it is destructive. I attemped suicide two times because of drinking. The medications I feel like it is unpossible to be happy.
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Re: I drink instead

Postby Otter » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:17 am

I binged drank during my 30s. I drank the decade away. I wish I could tell you how/why I stopped. For some reason drinking no longer appealed to me.

Your not alone in this. I used it to self medicate, to feel good as you say. In fact, the day after I was never really hung over, because somehow it balanced out my moods. But I wasted a lot of time.

I am sorry that your husband disrespects you with other women. Sadly this is not uncommon, the world over. :\

Can you see someone here in the states and perhaps talk about a different mix of meds?

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Re: I drink instead

Postby CrackedGirl » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:32 am

Hi

Self medicating in BP is pretty common. It is done for all sorts of reasons but a big one is to do with getting rid of symptoms imo - unfortunately the self medicating brings troubles of its own. I think that a good thing to do would be to see if there are other meds you could try as it does not sound like what you are on atm is suiting you. There are a lot of other choices so discussing this would be a good plan imo. Also I think that it is important to have a think about what you want to do wrt your drinking. If you do decided you want to stop there are ppl who can help you such as AA or referral to specialist services. I think that it would be good to explore both the options I suggested - A med review and looking into ppl who can help with the drinking (if you do decide you want to quit).

Hugs

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Re: I drink instead

Postby Oliveira » Sun Apr 12, 2015 8:46 am

I kept on drinking with my meds, not realising that alcohol makes it impossible for my body to process them correctly. I did know though that I am wrecking my liver (I was on Depakine then, and it harms the liver even before we involve alcohol). The way out for me was NA. I had a short relapse -- first when manic, then literally two drinks after leaving the hospital. Other than that I've been clean and sober for more than two years now.

If you do not like the way quetiapine makes you feel, you need to discuss medication change with your doctor. The point of those meds is not to make you feel flat (the "zombie effect"). It is to help out with the mood swings. But if you don't take your meds and use alcohol instead, your chances of stabilising are pretty much zero. Alcohol generates euphoria when you are drunk, then the day after you are in a deeper depression because you have sort of used your happiness hormones a day in advance. So you get drunk again, and feel euphoric, then the day after you're depressed, etc. My last suicide attempt was when I was greatly hungover. Please consider seeking help for your drinking problem and using medication regularly -- perhaps not the medication you are on now. But ultimately it's the only way for you to get better.

Big hugs.
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Re: I drink instead

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sun Apr 12, 2015 11:35 am

My dad drank a lot. He almost hurt my baby brother while drunk. I will not give more details as it might be a too much of a trigger warning issue. Since it I s dealing with an infant. I saw this firsthand as a very young child. He would beat my mom. And he ended up in prison because, while being drunk, he shot a man and nearly killed him. He was in prison for 16 years. We didn't have him with us nor his financial support. When you are drunk or manic or depressed or anything that can be considered "not your well self" then you are not the complete "you" who makes decisions. Just writing this, in a most kind manner. But maybe it's the depression or the alcohol talking.
And if you felt stable which can come close to or actually wonderful, depending on each person's experience, than would you actually come to those decisions you are making. Wishing you the utmost best.
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Re: I drink instead

Postby Mike78tan » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:21 pm

You have to look for help regarding your drinking problem. As soon as possible, before everything goes out of control.
"One love, one heart, one destiny."
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