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Spending spree...

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Spending spree...

Postby skilsaw » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:55 pm

I'm hypomanic and have been for at least a couple months.
I'm already christmas shopping, and it isn't even halloween yet.
Not only that, I'm being wildly generous.

The first example was a $3000 gift to a young lady who teaches piano to international students in a boarding school in Germany. She used it, along with other cash gifts to purchase a piano for her apartment.

The second example was a $3800 acoustic guitar for my son for his birthday. He played guitar in a jazz band when he was in high school and is talented but sold his instruments some time ago. He asked If I would buy him a cheap guitar for his birthday. I chose the one I bought.

Now I've ordered him a $10,000 electric guitar for Christmas. The model was first made in 1922 and made electric in 1951. It has been in production up until the present in very small numbers. It is a collectors item as well as a musical instrument.

I chose between the guitar for my son, and an $11000 lens for my camera. It is the kind of lens that National Geographic photographers use when they go after polar bears. Now that I've ordered the guitar, I've been able to stop wanting the camera lens.

I've ordered my other son and daughter in law a $1500 pair of goose down sleeping bags for christmas. I bought my nephew a $1000 set of kitchen knives for his wedding. It wasn't that I'm particularly close to my nephew. It was that the knives are the very best and I was able to get them for 40% off.

Everything I do is extravagant.

I received some money in 2012 and can afford to do these things but that doesn't make it smart. Many people who receive large sums of cash blow it all in a couple of years and end up right back where they started. I don't want to do that.


I don't know what I want you to say. Just taking the time to itemize the binge I have been on makes me look at the big picture and see what I'm doing. Now that I can see it all at once, I'm able to say this has to stop now.

This isn't the kind of spree that I have heard about in my support group. There are people who, when manic, but 3 new cars in a week. They end up in hospital and totally broke. That doesn't make my binge okay.

Thanks for listening.
Writing it all down has been helpful.
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
skilsaw
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Re: Spending spree...

Postby quietgirl2538 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:51 am

It is always good to get a word of acknowledgement to show we care. It can come in expressing concern, a word of advice, or anything that shows you have the best interests for that person. In saying that I only say that I want you and your well-being to be ok. That also entails your financial well-being. Recently I have had paranoia and it comes in the form of worrying endlessly to the point of an obsession at times. I worried about money and if something would happen to my husband, as he is sole breadwinner. I worried if we would be forced to sell our home. I got to the point that I budgeted so that we could have some extra for emergencies or for later times when money would be needed as his paycheck would not be enough. I went overboard. With that, I simply ask you to consider going to the doctor and asking for something to help you along. I know the feeling too well, when you feel that desire to purchase and you do not worry because it is indeed the right thing to do, at the moment. I have also done a few purchases and even convinced my husband I should purchase some items when all the while it was not something I would later end up feeling good about myself. I do not mean to offend you, I hope the way I have worded things it can come across as only wanting the best for you overall.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: Spending spree...

Postby skilsaw » Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:20 am

Quietgirl,
Thank you for your thoughtful words.
I think, from what you have said, that both of us would benefit from living within our means and then not worrying about it. There is lots to say about being anxious and worrying in the Bible, but this isn't a good place to write a sermon. If you want to, look up "worry" and "anxiety" in a Bible concordance. Here is just one quotation from Matthew 6:34. "Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I had an excellent psychologist, but he moved away. I haven't found somebody to replace him. I really benefit from having someone to talk to that really listens and then asks us good questions, like "Why...?"

Take care,
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
skilsaw
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Re: Spending spree...

Postby CrackedGirl » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:59 pm

I love that quote from Matthew

Skilsaw I am a bit worried about you atm. Things seem quite extreme. Is there anything that can be done to try reign things in a little for you? There is surely a mood aspect to this and I am wondering about the psychological payoff too - what do you get from giving these gifts? Love, causing happiness etc. And are there other ways to get that? But I am worried about your mood too as things def sound off for you atm. please take good care of yourself

Hugs

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Re: Spending spree...

Postby skilsaw » Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:17 pm

Thank you for your concern Cracked.
Your question about what do I expect in return or what do I get out of being this generous is spot on. Am I setting myself up for disappointment when I don't get the response I want?
I'm not sure what I want. I was sad when my son sold his guitars before because he is very talented at music. I don't think he is satisfied playing alone in his apartment. He has received the most motivation and satisfaction when he was in the jazz band.

While spending in a manic fashion, I think I am a little on the depressed side. Maybe the spending on others is an attempt to lift my spirits.... Do I want the recipients of the gifts to be thankful and greatful? Yesterday I received a nice thank you card in the mail from my nephew's new wife. She said she uses the kitchen knives every day and will have them for a long time. This response really made me glad.

Writing down the list of gifts yesterday was a really good exercise for me. It made me look at the big picture of my generosity.

Thank you for your concern. I feel really supported by the community on the forum.
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
skilsaw
Consumer 6
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Posts: 2228
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:47 am
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 3:44 am
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Re: Spending spree...

Postby CrackedGirl » Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:49 am

You are welcome skilsaw and you are an important part of this community. I hope you are doing OK soon. Sounds like you have a lot to think about atm. I am glad you got the letter about the knives being good- that sounds like it was important.

Anyhow we are here for you

Hugs

Cracked
So long and thanks for all the fish

Now we are out of the sea and we're keeping away from the sharks

We don't delete posts on demand

The Rules

When all else fails, hug the CAT



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CrackedGirl
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