I started college in September and I run a shop over the winter months.
I hired a friend to do 4 days a week that meant I could do 3 days at college, 3 days at the shop and hav a day off. I started lithium in August and been having doses upped according to blood test results. The last test took 11 days to come back and they didn't do the lithium check? WTF!? I have alsotried changing m name 7 times with my doc as I got married in May. They have lost my marriage certificate copies twice! To date it's still not changed!
I don't know what my levels are at all now.
I hired one of my friends as needed someone I could trust as there is a lot of money at stake here! He seriously disappointed me and I had to get rid of him on his first week at work! Due to having to turn up at the shop because he never came home the night before And then I was taken off part of my course.
I hae now had to quit the entire course to run the shop. I don't trust anyone else to do it! I have a strong reputation with them and don't want to ruin that!
I had to change appointment to January from November with psychiatrist. She called me back and went mad at me for keep speaking to these secretary when she's busy! I have never been anything but nice to them on the phone and they are always abrupt and rude. I told her this and that I didn't appreciate her calling me attacking me when I haven't done a thing wrong! She said it wasn't good enough and need to stop. I told her I have to because my docs always saying tey sent the results to them when they haven't so the only way I can find out is calling the psychiatrist office!
I told her cus of the shop it's likely I'd only be able to do an evening blood test till January. I asked how it's possible when I usually have my tablets in the evening and the blood test should Benin the morning twelve hours later. She said it's just not good enough and I can't do that.
I ended up fighting with her on the phone and telling her I couldn't deal with this on too of everything else. I said I have so much stress right now and don't want it from the people who are supposed to b helping make me better! I told her I was coming off meds and didn't want to see her again.
I can't stay on my current levels when I don't know if it's toxic. Not worth ruining my kidneys!
I don't know what to expect coming off them though? I have been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately and would love nothing more than to throw myself in front of a train on my way home. I deleted all my friends out oft life and am a recluse apart from work. Also my husband is away for over a week now. So fed up of everything.
Last saw a psychiatrist when I was 14 and she was a cow and I'm now 27 and just started trying to sort myself out again... Now this. Feel so disheartened. Heeeeeelp I'm sat in my shop now faking a smile on my face when I just want t cry... But I can't because I am alone had to post here cus now I have. O friends to go to.