I need some hypo…not full blown mania, but I need a boost. I miss some aspects of my manic times…I miss the creativity, the energy, and the euphoria. I’m just so depressed…between that, and being medicated up to my eyeballs I feel nothing. I have no energy, no drive and no ambition to do anything. I stay in the house most of the time; I just can’t deal with the outside world. I leave to go to the grocery store and to see my therapist and psychiatrist (with the help of a few Xanax)…that’s it. Lately I’ve been dealing with these mixed episodes…agitation, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, panic, paranoia, pressured speech, rage…the whole ball of wax. I feel like the lake of my bipolar symptoms is spilling over the wall of my medication. I feel like I’m going even crazier…how in the hell can I feel all these things at once? I just want to be “normal”, even if just for a while...
ANYway, sorry to whine, I know a lot of people on here are worse off than me…
Thanks for reading and Blessed be.