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I need some hypo...

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I need some hypo...

Postby crubba67 » Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:19 am

I need some hypo…not full blown mania, but I need a boost. I miss some aspects of my manic times…I miss the creativity, the energy, and the euphoria. I’m just so depressed…between that, and being medicated up to my eyeballs I feel nothing. I have no energy, no drive and no ambition to do anything. I stay in the house most of the time; I just can’t deal with the outside world. I leave to go to the grocery store and to see my therapist and psychiatrist (with the help of a few Xanax)…that’s it. Lately I’ve been dealing with these mixed episodes…agitation, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, panic, paranoia, pressured speech, rage…the whole ball of wax. I feel like the lake of my bipolar symptoms is spilling over the wall of my medication. I feel like I’m going even crazier…how in the hell can I feel all these things at once? I just want to be “normal”, even if just for a while...

ANYway, sorry to whine, I know a lot of people on here are worse off than me…

Thanks for reading and Blessed be.
"Sometimes the light's all shining on me, other times I can barley see, latley it occurs to me what a long strange trip it's been" - Grateful Dead

Dx: Severe Bipolar I w/psychotic features / Anxiety Disorder
Rx: Depakote 1000mg, Risperdone 4mg, Lamictal 200mg, Zoloft 50mg, Xanax PRN
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Re: I need some hypo...

Postby Exiled. » Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:55 am

When you get it, get enough to pass around.
The eye that looks ahead to the safe course is closed forever.
- Paul Muad'Dib Atreides

It does not do, to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Remember that.
- Albus Dumbledore

My life - My responsibility.
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Re: I need some hypo...

Postby skilsaw » Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:31 pm

I'm trying to picture what you are saying.
Does this make sense?
Bipolar Disorder gives us feelings that range from minus 10 for extreme depression and plus 10 for extreme mania. The middle zone, say minus 5 to plus 5 is where "normal people" function.

You are telling us that you have been experiencing mixed feelings of depression and mania.
What you want is to stablize somewhere on the positive manic side of Zero. Lets say about plus 3.

I'm like you. I could stay inside, mostly in bed, for days at a time. I don't think I'm depressed. Just Lazy. When I get out and do something, I feel energized and feel good about myself, but getting motivated to get outside in the fresh air is difficult for me.

One thing that really helps is scheduling things with friends. I seldom miss those times.
- We rent a video, buy some chocolate and watch the movie.
- We go for a walk. It is two kilometers to a favorite coffee shop so we walk there, have coffee and walk home.
- I volunteer to drive cancer patients to their treatments. Sometimes their treatments make them feel sick, so they shouldn't be driving.
- Along with two or three friends, I serve soup and sandwiches to homeless people one evening per week

Perhaps you can call a friend and make a date to go on a walk or watch a movie together.
Anything to break the cycle of living indoors. The longer I stay alone inside, the worse I get.

I hope you can get out and enjoy some fresh Spring air.

Take care,
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
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Re: I need some hypo...

Postby ElKahn » Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:16 am

I say it all the time lately, that I miss hypomania....I understand perfectly how you feel.
I was extremely irritable, angry, agitated, mad until two days ago or something. Now I'm getting calmer....just getting better. But still, low mood. These past two weeks I got depression, euthymia, irritable mood. Still no hypomania. I miss that. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what my exact state is. It's an extremely complex disorder. Like right now I think I'm kinda in a mixed mood - depression + irritability + grandiose thoughts at the same time, for example. And how do I explain this to my pdoc? Hell, I get confused, it's so hard to keep a track of my moods!

When you get hypomania, just enjoy it. Until then, just ignore it, pretend it never happened to you, otherwise you will miss it more. Just pretend you're only depressed, pretend for a while you're not bipolar, that you just have unipolar depression. It might decrease the feeling you miss something.
Then, when hypomania comes, just enjoy it.

Full-blown mania is something to be scared of. Hypomania is fine, or at least, it can be. Don't you think?
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Re: I need some hypo...

Postby Touched by Fire » Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:03 pm

I hear you and completely understand how you feel. I'm me, but I'm not me... and not sure which me I want to be sometimes. I miss all the creativity and wild ideas just flowing through my mind. I wish I could just a have a light switch for when I want to accomplish things. :lol:
Believe me, I'm just as lost as you.
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